Finding Your Peace

marcoujor

With starting up a new crop of behavioral health students and finishing up the paper grading and evaluations of the rotation before them, my plate felt a bit fuller than usual last week.

In addition, two very dear friends had each written me of feelings that hit me very close to home.  In fact, I daresay many of you who read this will identify in some way.  As such, I will write about my own scenarios ... to respect their privacy.

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Biting Off More Than I Can Chew...

Let's face it, we're all busy.  Some of us work.  Some of us are retired but quite active about it.

Quite a few of my buddies put me to shame in their retirement years, saying stuff like: "I don't know how I ever had time to work full time."

And officially now, while I teach on a part-time basis, I am not at all sure how I fit that 40-hour work week in...!

Just about a year ago, I was moved to write the following post: Time Management - This Will Only Take a Minute.

My philosophy of guarding my time holds fast and firm.  If anything, I am more protective than ever of a schedule and the need to prioritize - as I assume the teaching of an online course.

As I have initiated my personal Gestalt training, I am assuming a Language of Responsibility as coined by Perls.
 
I am replacing words that frequented my vocal palate with other words that are rusty, not quite as comfortable for this 'nurturing, fixing, bleeding heart type of gal':
 

• Why is not nearly as important as how or what. 
  
• Answers are way more meaningful than questions. 
  
• Change your mindset of can't to won't. 
  
• For that matter, let's turn should into want / don't want to. 
  
• Instead of minimizing ourselves / our time, make direct, strong statements.
  
• Focus on that which is concrete, specific, succinct over the abstract, general, verbose.
  

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I also remind myself, and others as needed, that no one has the right to determine our priorities for us without us giving them the permission.

Just because someone has a fabulous idea and 'you are just the person to get the job done', an automatic shift of your life priorities does not necessarily follow suit - at least without careful deliberation and validation on your part.


Lately I've been appreciating some of the cross stitch work I did in through my 30s.  This is one sampler I made for Mom and she loved it... I remember working the small patterns when I was first married and I selected the colors to match Mom's décor. 

At this time in my life, I worked intense and long hours.  Cross stitch was my way of grounding, calming and creating something really quite beautiful by the time it was matted and framed.  I made holiday ornaments, greeting card inserts with cross stitch and countless samplers for those I love and my own home.

I believe I would find pockets of peace by picking up my cross stitch work again.  A chronic wrist injury will now dictate the length of time I spend in a single session but as Miss Sammie would have said: "Rome wasn't built in a day".  More to come ... 

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Ask yourself what's important to you

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For years my staff and my patients depended on me - at least, it felt like they did, for most everything. I always felt very nurturing and maternal in my behavior, not quite realizing, at the time, the hours and intensity of the work.
 
I was the Queen of Multi-Tasking and prided myself on, actually being several minutes early, for any meeting or appointment.
 
Then, over the course of three days, for 46-long hours, I stared at the large office clock on my wall - realizing that I had absolutely no control. I was so concerned that Mom, due to have a colonoscopy the next day, would think I had forgotten her (I was grateful to learn that my brother had taken her because everyone knew that is what I would have wanted.) Events seemed very surreal in that locked room but, in the end, I am blessed to have survived and thrived... eventually able to take Mom to many other medical appointments, right up until her death in May, 2010.
 
And the weird thing is, through all that traumatic nightmare, social media was the last thing on my mind. 
I needed the love and comfort of my closest family, friends and yes, my beloved dog, Alvin.  The very idea of Facebook or Twitter would have sent me over the edge.
 
I truly make an effort now to slow down and take in what is happening around me.. to be present and aware of my surroundings - and who might be in need of a moment or two of my time.
 
And when I think I might not have that extra minute to lend an ear, I just remember to "Put people first on your TO-DO List because tomorrow is not promised." 
 
I remember and urge others to slow down and take a breath - that is a wonderful start...

Take your time and find your peace.

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Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.

Corita Kent

Before you go

Here are some links to this week's latest in the Weeblyhood...

• Life Talks - I Write: How to Enjoy a Quick Jam Session via Food Therapy
• flashPress: Victoria Warner on The Glass House by Jeannette Walls via the Pumpkin Run Pulse

Until next week, sending you hugs with an extra helping of peace,

mar