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mar's Desk

​This multi-topic blog publishes weekly on Wednesdays.
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Bundling Up and Stripping Down on an Arctic Day

2/17/2015

20 Comments

 
Picturemarcoujor
As I drove to my Gestalt Workshop this past Sunday, I had the radio on and the music paused for a traffic and weather update.


"Stay at home if you don't need to go out today.  Temperatures will get no higher than the single digits, although the wind chill factor will make it seem like minus fifteen."

I could hear Miss Sammie from above...


"Mareer, I know how stubborn you are.  You better have bundled up. now just drive carefully and allow plenty of time."

The Physical Aspects of Gestalt

PictureChef Geoff's Blueberry Fluff
I was armed with Chef Geoff's Blueberry Fluff and I felt confident in that aspect. We were having a pot luck luncheon with our class of fifteen, including the group facilitators.  I've never known a group not to thoroughly enjoy this creamy confection of 'stuff' , as one of my new friends called it.  Suffice to say, the Fluff (or stuff) was a big hit.

Our class started off with a weather report, which is a brief summary (no more than a minute) of how we are doing and / or what's been going on since the last time we got together.

My personal weather report was a good one in that I have started doing my own weather reports with my nursing students.  In fact, I do them both at the beginning and at the end of the clinical day. The students are finding an incredible increase in their own self-awareness and I am getting a better handle of how they are doing with the many experiences they are encountering.

Ironically, I am rarely anxious before I teach and am helpful in assisting my students with their varying degrees of angst.  Yet, on my way to the workshop, I had physical symptoms of high anxiety on par with Mel Brooks.  I gently and calmly talked to myself - with Blueberry Fluff by my side to guide me to my destination.

Oh, and a CD, In The Lonely Hour, I just got by 2015 Grammy winning Sam Smith was very helpful too ...

The Mental Aspects of Gestalt

Picture
Each workshop has an aspect of didactic theory that we review and discuss based on our homework readings.  Sunday's lesson centered on the Layers of Personality - which came from Fritz Perls text: Gestalt Therapy Verbatim.

To Perls, there are five layers of our personality. We may experience some/all of them for any length of time throughout our lives - weaving back and forth even - depending on our life circumstances and who we are interacting with at any given point in time.

The first layer is the Cliché Layer.  Many of us stay here with most of the people we interact with.  Daily greetings to strangers on the street; exchanging pleasantries with the customer service representative on the telephone or the receptionist at the doctor's office - even acquaintances or distant relatives you don't see very often.  It's perfectly understandable not to delve into all kinds of personal business with many in our lives - in fact, it can be quite dangerous.  Some are stuck in this layer with those in their immediate circle of intimacy for one reason or another.
 
The next layer is the Role Play Layer.  We can give ourselves these roles.  They can be given to us.  Examples include:  the crybaby, the fixer, the victim, the strong one, the black sheep, the favorite. You get the idea.  Much of this layer is perception - our own and those of others. It can change from childhood through our adulthood or stay completely the same. 
 
The Phobic Layer is next.  Words used to describe this phase of our lives are impasse, implosive and flight.  We may be in denial if there is a problem or issue that needs addressing, such as an addiction, a phobia or fear of something.
 
Next is the Death Layer where base, core fears (such as abandonment, engulfment, disintegration and rejection) are raw and ever present.  We feel vulnerable and unlovable. Although I know differently now, in June, 1999, after the shooting, I felt my world had entirely crashed. I had an up close and personal experience with the Death Layer.
 
The last layer that Mariah Fenton Gladis actually coined is referred to as the Life Layer, where I must say I personally prefer hanging out.  In this stage, there is a celebration and explosion into feelings - variations such as mad, sad, glad, even fear.  From where I'm sitting today, feeling the feeling and owning it is way more than half the battle.
 
I've opted to stick with the Life Layer, no matter how uncomfortable it might get. I have found that stripping down these layers, it can get mighty toasty on that Hot Seat, especially when I am talking to myself AND not allowed to be critical. How do you like that?  I now have to be nice to myself?

The Spiritual Aspects of Gestalt

In an effort to be nice to myself, I've decided to hang out with myself a little more.  I mean really hang out in my own head - as Miss Sammie used to say :  "I want to hear myself think".
 
The Gestalt readings and videos are amazing and I intend to share some points here and there along my journey with you.

This very brief video left me thoroughly warm, inspired and motivated to proceed at my own pace through this personal journey.  I am reminded that we learn from everyone in our lives. In this video, an adorable baby proves to be an adept instructor.  Hope it brings you a smile and an incentive to stretch (even if only mentally)...!

Before you go

Don't miss the latest editions circulating in the Weeblyhood...

  • Life Talks - I Write: Leek and Potato Soup Time via Food Therapy
  • flashPress: Miracle on VOODOO MOUNTAIN via the Pumpkin Run Pulse

Thank you for the visit. 

Until next week, take good care of yourself.

Hugs, 

mar 
20 Comments
Mike
2/18/2015 03:07:44 am

Gestalt Therapy seems to suit you. Blueberry Fluff seems to suit you. I guess we all deal with our realities in or own way. I think Miss Sammie may have said, "What, you are going out in that weather." :)

Reply
Maria link
2/18/2015 11:51:34 am

Dear Mike,

Thanks for being the first to stop by...I am just digging out of some interesting case studies and you caused a smile with your comment!

Although it's not possible...(hmmm??) I feel as though you have met Miss Sammie...LOL...:))

Reply
Vicki
2/18/2015 05:43:28 am

Dear Maria - a very Gestalt post, and I enjoyed it as much as you seem to. I'm glad you are finding som many worthwhile things in your study of this.
The blueberry fluff would have gone down effortlessly, no matter what deep dark matters surface into consciousness.
That baby is a wonderful instructor! Has every move down pat!
A truly lovely post. Hope your weather improves soon!

Reply
Maria link
2/18/2015 11:54:51 am

Dear Vicki,

I just knew you would enjoy that sweet baby...in fact, I thought of you when I watched it the first time!

I am going to need to find some fluff to indulge in because the forecast is predicting the dreaded 's' word again for tiomorrow...hoping it will be 'unassembled' in form so we can get through another clinical day!

Reply
Gail Sobotkin
2/18/2015 05:59:03 am

Love the idea of a "weather report" for our emotions and responses to daily events.
I could see myself in all the layers of personality, and like you, am at a time in my life when I prefer to spend as much time as possible in the "Life Layer" (even though I never heard that label for it before today. I would have called it "being authentic and real in interactions with self and others." It is, by far, the most interesting way to relate.
Loved the video of the adorable baby. Very instructive for folks of any age!
Sending Blessings, Love & Hugs,
Gail

Reply
Maria link
2/18/2015 11:58:19 am

Dear Gail,

Thanks for your visit, dear friend...yes, The Life Layer seems to be the way to go...through the good times and the bad along our life journey. So happy you enjoyed this sweet baby too!

Love and hugs to you and Fred, my dear friend.

Reply
Martie link
2/18/2015 06:02:46 am

Dear Mar, the five layers of our personality is an indisputable reality. I was just thinking how we tend to lose the Life Layer at a certain point of our life - sometimes while we are still a child - and then to find it again at a later stage to realize how precious it is.

The video about the rolling baby is profound and encouraging.

Now for a taste of Chef Geoff's fluff .... err.... stuff. Haven't I seen the recipe somewhere, and now I can't remember where. What about a link?

Hugs,
Martie

Reply
Maria link
2/18/2015 12:43:12 pm

Insightful comments, dear Martie and I always appreciate your perspectives.

Yes, I have shared Chef Geoff's fluff on Vicki's website for her upcoming Bachelor's Cook Book - the link is embedded above in this post as well! Love and hugs, mar

Reply
shoshana
2/18/2015 06:15:33 am

Loved it all, so nice to hear your take on the day!

Reply
Maria link
2/18/2015 12:04:19 pm

Welcome, my Sista Shoshana!

How wonderful to see you here...you make a delicious split pea soup with turmeric, I must say!

Reply
Shauna L Bowling link
2/18/2015 07:20:32 am

What an amazing video, Mar! When explained as it is, overcoming hurdles comes natural once we find a focal point. It makes perfect sense!

I need to ask you, if Miss Sammie had told you to turn around in that horrendous weather, would you have?

Reply
Maria link
2/18/2015 12:07:07 pm

Yes, Sha, right on about the video...!

And I must confess...after I was 'old enough to know better' (ie- after 21), I always listened to Miss Sammie...so the answer is 'yes'.

Reply
Theresa
2/18/2015 02:35:06 pm

You had me at Bluberry Fluff, sweet carrying Maria : ) ...

Thank you for sharing all about your Gestalt therapy. I find it fascinating. I knew I had multiple personalities all along. Seriously though, I found myself in the layers you have there, especially at work when I am on the phone with so many. My daughter always told me that I do not sound like myself when I get on the phone. LOL, now I realize I am in my cliché layer as is necessary!

I am with you on remaining, for the most part, in the Life layer. Did you mention somewhere that this therapy is from Germany? I am thinking of how one pronounces Gestalt.

Actually, I am so surprised at myself here of late, as I, too, have been spending more time with me, and find that I am truly enjoying the journey. I realize it is okay to do so! How lovely.

You are special and loved,

Theresa

Reply
Maria link
2/20/2015 12:22:04 pm

Dear Theresa,

What a fabulous and loving comment - thank you, also for the question.

Christian von Ehrenfels was indeed a German founding father (philosopher) of Gestalt theory. The word 'Gestalt' is German for shape - form - figure............ like the figure in the picture above for the PA Gestalt Center. It means something different to everyone who sees it.

How wonderful that you are taking time to be with yourself...you are worth the investment for sure.

Love, hugs and wishing you a peaceful weekend, Maria

Reply
Sunshine
2/19/2015 12:46:19 am

Blueberry Fluff and Sam Smith, sounds delightful to me! Sending you some sunshine ☀️☀️☀️☀️

Reply
Maria link
2/20/2015 12:25:24 pm

Awesome - you bring the sunshine, Sunshine...and I'll provide the sweet stuff and the sweet music!

Reply
Ruby link
2/19/2015 09:21:04 am

Mar, you are sounding more confidant and relaxed. The baby video is adorable. Try and try again soon you will succeed, a great lesson indeed. By telling us your feelings and thoughts, we too, will learn how to strip the layers built up over time. I hope you continue to share your experiences with us. BTW, It must be great to be married to a chef. Take care and rest when needed. Hugs..

Reply
Maria link
2/20/2015 12:29:59 pm

Dear Ruby,

Your comment is so nurturing and sweet - thank you!

I hope to share many more wonderful personal experiences of my training - thrilled if you derive any benefit or support from my work.

Being married to a chef is great but my single digit dress size days are sadly over as a result (LOL)! Hugs and love to you too, mar

Reply
Sannel link
2/20/2015 05:05:55 am

Dear Maria,
As always, I'm late leaving a comment here on your blog. It's been a hectic month. :( However, as always, it's a real joy to stop by and read your profound words. The baby video is wonderful. Sometimes in our lives we do need some help, like the plush giraffe to help us roll over and go on. Heck, I need a giraffe almost everyday, lol.
I could also use some of that fluffy stuff right now!! It say's that you'll deliver. . . Great! Can you be here in the next hour? :)
Stay warm!
Love you lots!!
Hugs,
Sannel

Reply
Maria link
2/20/2015 12:34:54 pm

My dearest Sannel,

You are never late to my website and always the reason for the biggest smiles!

Oh that I could fuel the virtual jet with Sir Andy and plenty of fluff and head for Sweden...and I would whisk all of us away to a warm and tropical climate until old man Winter blows past us!

In the meantime, I better find my giraffe to help me up...this baby has taught us all a thing or two.

Sending you a warm and cozy hug and much love, Maria

Reply



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    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

    I am a work in progress, so a rule of thumb is to expect the unexpected every week!

    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

    Thank you,

    mar  



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