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mar's Desk

​This multi-topic blog publishes weekly on Wednesdays.
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Finding Your Peace

2/25/2015

22 Comments

 
Picturemarcoujor

With starting up a new crop of behavioral health students and finishing up the paper grading and evaluations of the rotation before them, my plate felt a bit fuller than usual last week.

In addition, two very dear friends had each written me of feelings that hit me very close to home.  In fact, I daresay many of you who read this will identify in some way.  As such, I will write about my own scenarios ... to respect their privacy.

Biting Off More Than I Can Chew...

Picture
Let's face it, we're all busy.  Some of us work.  Some of us are retired but quite active about it.

Quite a few of my buddies put me to shame in their retirement years, saying stuff like: "I don't know how I ever had time to work full time."

And officially now, while I teach on a part-time basis, I am not at all sure how I fit that 40-hour work week in...!

Just about a year ago, I was moved to write the following post: Time Management - This Will Only Take a Minute.

My philosophy of guarding my time holds fast and firm.  If anything, I am more protective than ever of a schedule and the need to prioritize - as I assume the teaching of an online course.

As I have initiated my personal Gestalt training, I am assuming a Language of Responsibility as coined by Perls.
 
I am replacing words that frequented my vocal palate with other words that are rusty, not quite as comfortable for this 'nurturing, fixing, bleeding heart type of gal':
 
  • Why is not nearly as important as how or what. 
  • Answers are way more meaningful than questions. 
  • Change your mindset of can't to won't. 
  • For that matter, let's turn should into want / don't want to. 
  • Instead of minimizing ourselves / our time, make direct, strong statements.
  • Focus on that which is concrete, specific, succinct over the abstract, general, verbose.

Picture
I also remind myself, and others as needed, that no one has the right to determine our priorities for us without us giving them the permission.

Just because someone has a fabulous idea and 'you are just the person to get the job done', an automatic shift of your life priorities does not necessarily follow suit - at least without careful deliberation and validation on your part.



Lately I've been appreciating some of the cross stitch work I did in through my 30s.  This is one sampler I made for Mom and she loved it... I remember working the small patterns when I was first married and I selected the colors to match Mom's décor. 

At this time in my life, I worked intense and long hours.  Cross stitch was my way of grounding, calming and creating something really quite beautiful by the time it was matted and framed.  I made holiday ornaments, greeting card inserts with cross stitch and countless samplers for those I love and my own home.

I believe I would find pockets of peace by picking up my cross stitch work again.  A chronic wrist injury will now dictate the length of time I spend in a single session but as Miss Sammie would have said: "Rome wasn't built in a day".  More to come ... 

Ask yourself what's important to you

PictureCLICK HERE to visit my Ad Services page.
For years my staff and my patients depended on me - at least, it felt like they did, for most everything. I always felt very nurturing and maternal in my behavior, not quite realizing, at the time, the hours and intensity of the work.
 
I was the Queen of Multi-Tasking and prided myself on, actually being several minutes early, for any meeting or appointment.
 
Then, over the course of three days, for 46-long hours, I stared at the large office clock on my wall - realizing that I had absolutely no control. I was so concerned that Mom, due to have a colonoscopy the next day, would think I had forgotten her (I was grateful to learn that my brother had taken her because everyone knew that is what I would have wanted.) Events seemed very surreal in that locked room but, in the end, I am blessed to have survived and thrived... eventually able to take Mom to many other medical appointments, right up until her death in May, 2010.
 
And the weird thing is, through all that traumatic nightmare, social media was the last thing on my mind. 
I needed the love and comfort of my closest family, friends and yes, my beloved dog, Alvin.  The very idea of Facebook or Twitter would have sent me over the edge.
 
I truly make an effort now to slow down and take in what is happening around me.. to be present and aware of my surroundings - and who might be in need of a moment or two of my time.
 
And when I think I might not have that extra minute to lend an ear, I just remember to "Put people first on your TO-DO List because tomorrow is not promised." 
 
I remember and urge others to slow down and take a breath - that is a wonderful start...

Take your time and find your peace.

Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.

Corita Kent

Before you go

Here are some links to this week's latest in the Weeblyhood...

  • Life Talks - I Write: How to Enjoy a Quick Jam Session via Food Therapy
  • flashPress: Victoria Warner on The Glass House by Jeannette Walls via the Pumpkin Run Pulse

Until next week, sending you hugs with an extra helping of peace,

mar
22 Comments
kimmie
2/25/2015 01:53:11 am

Dearest Maria
Like a cool drink on a hot day...that was what your post did for me this morning. All that you said truly hit home. I have recently given myself permission to slow down...not take on so much if I do not feel like it.. but most of all forgive myself when I fail or do not meet my own expectations.
This morning read was beautiful. Thank you!
Love and hugs
kimmie

Reply
Maria link
2/25/2015 08:39:37 am

Dear Kimmie,

I really love your boss! Anyone that gives themselves "permission to slow down and to forgive themselves" is A-OK in my books...

Love you and thanks for being the first comment! Hugs, Maria

Reply
Vicki link
2/25/2015 02:15:21 am

Dear Mareer,
I love this thing of stepping back once in a while, and really thinking about priorities. As we become more and more well known, this becomes more and more necessary. And you're so very correct in your admonishment that others should not determine your priorities.

I'm glad you're looking back at your needlework accomplishments that gave you and others so much joy. For me, to "zone out" in this way becomes my main method of achieving complete relaxation and meditational type peace.

This is beautiful, and inspirational. I'm sure it will be that way for many who read, and many thanks for the mention.

Love and hugs, Vickster







Reply
Maria link
2/25/2015 08:46:08 am

Dear Vickster,

Your recent interview with Kim and your knitting group of remarkable women has left a memorable impression on me - reminding me of the peace and sanctuary we get from this type of handiwork.

I remember scenes in "Little Women" and "Gone With the Wind"... that remind me of women through the years who have gained strength and solace through keeping their hands busy with purposeful needle work.

Thanks for the inspiration and the visit. Love and hugs, Maria

Reply
Shauna L Bowling
2/25/2015 02:20:36 am

Mar, this is just what I needed today. I'm having one of those days where I just need some time to myself. And I'm going to do just that. The overcast skies are the perfect setting and just the validation I need to put me first for a while.

Reply
Maria link
2/25/2015 08:49:02 am

Dear Sha,

Because I know first hand how often you put others first, your remarks put a smile in my heart.

Bravo to you, my sweet friend and I hope this becomes a frequent habit! Love you and hugs, Mar

Reply
Peg link
2/25/2015 02:22:51 am

Beautiful words and beautiful work, Maria. You've voiced the feelings that many of us experience as we are pulled in a dozen different directions. Learning to take time for ourselves is a valuable lesson.

Reply
Maria link
2/25/2015 08:52:51 am

Dearest Peg,

You are another amazing woman who is pulled in more directions than a weather vane in a wind storm...

Thank you for taking time to 'paws' stop by for some lessons! We all just need to keep reminding each other (LOL) plus spend time with our dawgs...

Love you and HI to the gang with hugs to all, Maria

Reply
Mike
2/25/2015 02:47:58 am

Hello Maria – Your plate seems always to be full. I believe you to be right that many need to examine the pace that they keep. The clock is ticking and there is not near the time needed to enjoy yourself. For many the briefcase carrying days are over. Me? I have cleared my plate.

Reply
Maria link
2/25/2015 08:58:56 am

Dear Mike,

You are wise and able to dissect these situations so clearly...if you keep this up, I am going to approach you to write a guest article (oops, I just did...LOL)

Because I know a whole stream of us gals who want to know ...'OK, just how does one clear their plate...' No, no...you know the kind of plate I'm referring to... just sayin'...the clock is ticking!

In any event, thank you for always making me smile, you funny and kind man!

Reply
femmeflashpoint link
2/25/2015 02:58:11 am

Professor Mahreer,

You're so right. Slower is better, otherwise we risk missing a whole lot of awesomeness that can fly right by us in a blur!

I admit, my best place for keeping up with family and friends are social networks. My circles are big and the idea of talking on the phone or sending emails to keep up with everyone puts my teeth on edge. I have same reaction to a television, which is why I've not owned one for nearly ten years. I do love mobile phone but not for talking, and definitely not for texting. I just love their aps.

My best defense against stress is prayer, reading my bible and private time with God. Past that are friends and family (human-kind or other-kind), and of those I recommend steering clear of those who are argumentative and have negative attitudes, when possible.

Past all of those, there's Minecraft and Runescape. ☺

P.S. Where's your chalkboard? (Wink!)

femme

Reply
Maria link
2/25/2015 09:08:03 am

Dear femme,

Can I tell you how much I love the word "awesomeness"... I sure do!

Your comment is rife with technology...much of which I laughingly don't even understand (Minecraft...huh??) and still you are filled with the balance of your spirituality, positive outlook on life and the wonderful interactive things you do/ share with family / friends in Mother Nature. In other words, it all seems to work for YOU...which is "the proverbial ticket"!

How did you know I have been checking over my studio walls to see where I might squeeze even the most modest chalkboard...'and you know I will...'!!

Love you and thanks for your ongoing patience as I continue to send you work at the last minute, mar

Reply
Martie link
2/25/2015 04:28:43 am

Dear Mar, that is a beautiful piece of cross stitch work you have given to your momma.

Besides knitting, crocheting, and making my own clothes, I also loved creative canvass work, so, I know that wonderful feelings of peace, contentment, etc, one experiences while being creative and productive.

Thank you for this profound post. You made me ponder the basics again, and the management of my precious time.

Sadly, writing tends to absorb us - the larger the project the less time we have left for others and eventually also less for ourselves.

You are truly a master when it comes to time management.

Hugs,

Martie

Reply
Maria link
2/25/2015 09:17:04 am

Dear Martie,

As a 'soul sister', I am always grateful to see you visit as I know how very busy you are...doing such cool things.

You keep going so your full plate is always 'serving a different specialty' with great panache!

I would love to see some of your needlework at some point. I know it is beautiful and must bring you the same kinds of feelings as it does to me and so many others.

Thanks for your encouraging words. Love you and hugs, mar

Reply
paula link
2/25/2015 05:42:39 am

Maria.....Beautiful words from a beautiful friend. You inspire, inform and entertain, not to mention lend an ear and make me laugh. All of this & more makes you that very special person I'm so lucky to have met.
You have many gifts Maria my dear and how appropriate since you, yourself are a Gift!.......Always grateful for you and to you! Love, Paula

Reply
Maria link
2/25/2015 09:20:16 am

Dear Paula,

Your comment, like you, is both beautiful and appreciated.

Love you and thank you much for stopping by, Maria

Reply
Gail Sobotkin
2/25/2015 07:30:39 am

Dear Maria,
This definitely resonates with me.
Though I love being with family and friends, I find that time to be alone in nature is vital to rejuvenate my energy and help me remain grounded, loving and peaceful.
Experience has taught me it's hard to give to others unless we keep our own energy freely flowing in both the giving and receiving.
Tomorrow is promised to no-one, but a few minutes each day spent in self-reflection and peace can go a long way toward enjoying today.
Sending Blessings, Love & Hugs,
Gail

Reply
Maria link
2/25/2015 09:25:51 am

Dear Gail,

If your style is to be "grounded, loving and peaceful" through self - reflection and time alone with nature, then I can say wholeheartedly "it's working for you"...!

Your wisdom, inner strength and calm makes you a friend that I cherish with my heart and soul... you are an inspiration to me.

Love you and hugs and a hug for Fred too, Maria

Reply
Ruby link
2/26/2015 03:24:55 am

Mar, I am happy to learn that you are slowing down a bit. Life is so very busy and we don't want to miss anything, but sometimes I must stop and smell the roses, which in the past I rarely did. I've developed a problem with both shoulders. The doctor thinks it's from being on the computer too much. He treated it with steroids and I'm better but still having some pain, so I'll be slacking off writing for awhile. I know I'll miss it but health must come first. I love your message about finding peace. Take care my sweet friend. Love and hugs.

Reply
Maria link
3/1/2015 01:55:19 pm

Dear Ruby,

Thanks for taking the time to share such a meaningful comment here.

I am in total agreement that roses are for smelling...so glad we have both arrived at this point.

I'm ever so sorry your shoulders are giving you pain...hoping the steroids and rest will help. Thinking of you and sending hugs, Mar

Reply
Theresa
3/3/2015 11:23:48 pm

Oh Maria,

Me time brings such sweet peace and relaxation! It is so vital for us to slow down for our physical and mental wellbeing.

I am so happy you have learned to slow things down a bit and take time out for you. I truly believe if we do not do such, then we will wind up not being able to be there for others due to burnout.

I may be on the other end and in trouble, for I have truly enjoyed taking time out for myself to the excess for the past couple of weeks ...is there a limit when one should become concerned? LOL My hubby has been out of town a couple of days during the past weeks and I have to say I have enjoyed my alone time. Of course, I still have a ten hour day of work/commute time ... so I think the me time is still okay. Well, I have Max and George, my sweet fur babies there, so I am not truly alone.

Hugs,

Theresa

Reply
Maria link
3/7/2015 11:34:59 pm

Dearest Theresa,

Just finding this sweet comment today. Wanted to assure you that "you are far from the danger zone" when it comes to finding peaceful YOU time.

You work so hard every day. You lovingly give heart and soul to family, friends and anyone in need...there has to be some time built into that equation for "Theresa".

And having Max and George sounds like doggone, purrfectly good company to me. Have a peaceful Sunday. Love and hugs, Maria

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    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

    I am a work in progress, so a rule of thumb is to expect the unexpected every week!

    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

    Thank you,

    mar  



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  • BOOK SHOP
    • Kylie's Stories
    • Other books by Maria Jordan >
      • Mysterious & Miraculous Book I - News and Reviews
  • BLOGS
    • mar's Desk
    • Inspiration Station
    • Poetic Ponderings
    • marcoujor on Hubpages
  • I Recommend...
  • Contact Me