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marcoujor: A Life Well Lived

6/22/2016

20 Comments

 
Picture

While growing up and even during the first phase of my nursing career, I had a 'dictionary - like' viewpoint of success.

Like this diagram, I viewed honesty, quality, team spirit and fairness as core components of success.  I regarded success as purely professional.  Like Webster's definition, success was seen as 'the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like...' 

Picture
Image via Gerd Altmann of Pixabay. Click the image to visit his gallery.
​Realistically, and hopefully not too cynically, I learned in June, 1999 that success didn't mean a whole bunch if you were dead.  And just like that, my life perspectives were irrevocably changed...

Seventeen years later, how do I define success...? Well, in short strokes, I'd say success is a life well-lived.

I recently taught a two-day clinical rotation in an area nursing home. These nursing students are profoundly impacted by the seniors they care for. They learn life stories and pearls of wisdom in return for giving their hearts and hands to their assigned clients.

Over these two days, I was drawn to a particular client, 'J', who is 94-years-young.  His mind is sharp as a tack.  His body is healing from a fall and he'll be discharged later in the week to independent living, moving from the third to the first floor.

'J' gave me a run down of his children (two sons and a daughter), spouses and his grandchildren.  He talked of each with honesty, pride and utter love. 

'J' has amazing talent as an artist.  The work he has done while in the nursing home is of  museum-like quality.

'J' had been a cop in a rough area of the city where he'd grown up and retired after 30-years. The 'Barbara Walters' in me wanted to know if 'J' had ever been shot. He had been. Twice.  The good news is, both were accidents, like the ricochet shot into his shoulder during firing practice.

'J' worked for a security company after he retired.  He shared a few famous (from the area) folks that he'd driven, escorted to various functions.  He smiled when relating that influence and money did not always equate to class and courtesy. He spoke of his interactions with Joe Frazier (I know some of you remember Joe, are no doubt smiling) which were positive and mutually protective.  

Past 'J's' professional adventures, he lit up when speaking of his beautiful wife, who died five years ago. He described her as his partner, a truly good woman who had made him a better man.  

My tissue supply was tapped when 'J' said he could die tomorrow and have no regrets.  He had done everything on his bucket list and enjoys each day 'as it comes'.  

To me, 'J' is one of the most successful men I have ever met.

I'm grateful to Mariah Fenton-Gladis for introducing me to this inspirational song, by Tim McGraw, Live Like You Were Dying.
I also asked this question in the recent questionnaire I sent out to some family, friends and colleagues. Check out these responses...
  • Success towards living out of wholeness, reaching the goal of a whole ​human being.
  • Feeling that you accomplished a goal you set for yourself.
  • The ability to continue onward despite occasional setbacks and failure.
  • Reaching a point in your life where you are happy and have no regrets.  Success is personal and only love and happiness can take you there.
  • Being happy where you are at any time in your life.
  • Success can be realized in so many different ways, for various reasons at several unique periods throughout our lives.  While success is often associated with notoriety or infamy, "feeling" as though we've been successful is the true test, even when not another soul may be aware but us.  Success  is realized within ourselves in numerous ways.
  • It’s triumph over challenge, and is different for everyone, because people all aspire to different ideas of personal challenges.
  • Truly knowing and loving yourself.
  • Doing the best you can.
  • Being happy with your life.
  • An exciting journey from birth to death, leaving behind a legacy of love and peace. I believe that the only sign of failure would be when people cry ‘good riddance’ at your funeral.  
  • Fulfilling the purpose we are created for.​
  • Nowadays to be able to keep a family together and still love each other after facing hard times.
​These answers are meaningful and most relatable. What an insightful group of men and women with much life wisdom. Thanks to each of you who responded and everyone else is invited to put your thoughts in the comment section.

ShoutOuts

☙ Post updates for the curious via WarnerWords
☙ The Bottle Tree via Graceful Intentions
​☙ When summer’s out to get you via flashPress

​Until next week, sending you peace and love,

mar
​
20 Comments
Mike
6/22/2016 12:19:11 pm

"I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way"
F.S.

Just reaching 94 is quite an accomplishment.

Reply
Maria link
6/23/2016 07:58:37 pm

Some of my favorite lyrics, ever...dear Mike.

And I agree with you totally - thanks for stopping by.

Reply
Vicki link
6/22/2016 12:50:56 pm

Dear Maria,

What a thoughtful and thought provoking post. I loved it.

Thank you, love and hugs, Vicki

Reply
Maria link
6/23/2016 08:00:36 pm

Thanks, dear Vicki...your views mean a lot to me.

Love and hugs to you, mareer

Reply
Martie link
6/22/2016 02:39:49 pm

J is indeed a remarkable and successful man. How wonderful when a man can say that he has no regrets, and that he has or had "a truly good woman who had made him a better man."

So true: What we, while we are young, think is success - all of that pomp and circumstance - is not at all true success. I believe a person was a successful human being when he is remembered after his death as a 'good, loving, wise soul who set an example worthy to follow'.

I love listing to people like J!

Profound post! Thank you, dear Maria!

Reply
Maria link
6/23/2016 08:02:14 pm

Thanks for the insights you gleaned from this post, dear Martie.

So happy you enjoyed this - Love you much, mar

Reply
Ruby link
6/22/2016 03:03:46 pm

This was an inspirational read. Your friend ' J ' will leave this earth, having done everything on his bucket list. But not only that, he will leave with no regrets. That is a goal for us all to aspire to. Thank you for sharing your friend. Hugs...

Reply
Maria link
6/23/2016 08:03:54 pm

I agree, sweet Ruby - "J" is a wonderful role model to aspire to.

Hugs back to you, mar

Reply
paula link
6/22/2016 05:31:21 pm

Hey Maria.....This is a test. This is only a test. I;m hoping this gets sent to your comment section, so I can return to leaving comments!! Pls let me know if you get this!! Effer

Reply
Maria link
6/23/2016 07:57:02 pm

You have passed the test - got it, dear Paula.

Reply
Peg Cole link
6/23/2016 03:23:22 pm

I love your sharing this beautiful story about J and his philosophy. It's good to know that he felt his life was rich and fulfilled. That is the hope when we reach his wonderful age. What a remarkable thing for a man to have enjoyed the long and successful life like he has, and that your students can share in his wisdom and optimistic outlook. Hugs and love from, Peg

Reply
Maria link
6/23/2016 08:08:24 pm

Absolutely, dear Peg - 'J' was a gift to both me and my students.

Hugs and love to you too, mar

Reply
Kathy
6/25/2016 09:50:05 am

Your shining spirit speaks to, and for, all of our still struggling ones. We are challenged in life to learn to refine ourselves into worthy beings: for me, this is the essence of true and honest success. There can be no more lofty a goal than that one, as 'J ' and his life would seem to bear witness. And, certainly, as your life does, Maria. You continue to inspire, by being a part of the lives of so many of us!

Reply
Maria link
7/4/2016 07:53:12 am

Dear Kathy,

Forgive the length of time in my response... your words touch my heart and I thank you for being a beautiful presence in my life.

Happy 4th of July to you. Love you much, Maria

Reply
Sannel link
6/26/2016 05:28:36 am

Dear Maria,

Thank you for sharing this beautiful and very inspirational read this Sunday morning. Your friend J is truly a remarkable man who has enjoyed a long and successful life. What a privilege to you and your students to get to know such a wise and inspirational man.

I'm thankful to Mariah Fenton-Gladis and to you for introducing me to this beautiful and thought provoking song by Tim McGraw.

I would also like to add my own thoughts to your list on what success means to me;
Success to me is going to bed at night and looking back on the day, knowing I have tried my very best to be as kind, caring and loving to people, animals and nature alike.

Take care, sweet friend!
Love and hugs,
Sannel

Reply
Maria link
7/4/2016 07:57:42 am

Dear Sannel,

I love your definition of success. You surely 'practice what you preach'. I see you as one of the most successful (and beautiful) people I am blessed to call friend.

So happy you loved this song as I do. Love you too, Maria

Reply
crazyhorseladycx
7/10/2016 12:53:57 pm

howdy, ms. mar!

what a complete 'n total joy to've been'n the company 'f mr. j - a true treasure'f a man 'n he's such a positive outlook. i'd loved to've met him myself.

some seem to put too much focus'n material schtuff 'n measure their success by such. i believe that one can only be truly successful by the lives they touch, the kindness shown to others with no thoughts'n the 'price' fer such.

great article, i'd e'en like to see some've this fella's artwork, what a fascinatin', multi-faceted gem 'f a human bein'!

big hugs 'n love!

Reply
Maria link
7/13/2016 09:21:29 am

Thanks for this beautiful comment, dear Lady. I very much agree with your views on success.

'J' was being discharged the day I met him...but his work inspired me as much as your photography does.

Big hugs and love to you, mar

Reply
Shauna
7/15/2016 03:50:55 pm

I would love to see some of J's artwork. His philosophy is stellar. Truly an inspiration!

Reply
Maria link
7/16/2016 06:17:48 am

I wish I could share 'J's' work with you, Sha - you would love as much as I did.

Thanks for stopping by and take good care. Love ya, mar

Reply



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    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

    I am a work in progress, so a rule of thumb is to expect the unexpected every week!

    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

    Thank you,

    mar  



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      • Mysterious & Miraculous Book I - News and Reviews
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    • Poetic Ponderings
    • marcoujor on Hubpages
  • I Recommend...
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