 “What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it." -- Jiddu Krishnamurti Happening upon this quotation, I felt compelled to explore the subject of fear this week. Please allow me to share some broad thoughts on fear - a feeling I imagine we can all relate to, in some form or another.  Image via Workandapix of Pixabay. Click here to view their gallery. I would not clump fear into the same category… ... as worry, anxiety, dread or apprehensiveness - at least not consciously. I am famous for apprehensiveness and worry in both new situations and familiar situations with new people. Similar feelings are expressed by my nursing students as they enter the world of the unknown in their behavioral health clinical rotation. What a change will transpire over the four weeks I work with each student - the pride, confidence and understanding that comes with pushing past one’s comfort zones. On the flip side, I believe that ‘once bitten, twice shy’. When fearful of a person, place or situation because of past experience, I have no need to try again. With the maturity that age brings, I am able to leave the past in the past, which reminds me that not all new experiences are unsafe. Do I have control over my fears … … more importantly, perhaps, do I have control over the outcome of my fear? For example, I spend next to no time fearing the thought of death. I remember Mom frequently telling me: “When it’s your time to go, you will go. Be ready at all times.” This point was honed into my mindset in June, 1999 - when, by all logic and reason, I should have died. Now almost twenty years later, I know that ‘my time’ will come as it is meant to. Now, in those situations where I do have control over my exposure to known fears, I am the epitome of a control freak. I find myself speaking Sammie-isms as I say: “I’m not going to borrow trouble. I didn’t lose anything in _______. I wouldn’t ______ for all the tea in China.” In fact, if you ever see me _______, you will know I have totally lost my mind. Examples might include:
I also consider if there is something meaningful to be learned by exposure / participation in the activity / experience. No matter what, I would do my best to escape… ... protect myself / those I love / care for from dangerous circumstances - those compromising life or safety.. Fear is healthy in such situations, and I allow my fight or flight instincts to serve me. “What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it." -- Jiddu Krishnamurti In conclusion, in the analysis of this quotation, I think there is much to be learned about fear without accompanying exposure to the harmful / dangerous person, thing or situation. Equal in importance is learning to listen to / trust our instincts in times when ‘escape’ is the safer alternative. As ever, I welcome your thoughts, whether in the comments or via email. Thanks for joining me again this week... ShoutOutsHappy Easter. Happy Passover. Until next week, wishing you peace and hugs, mar
28 Comments
Helena
3/28/2018 07:47:55 am
very well written Happy easter and peace to you too
Verlie Burroughs
3/28/2018 10:45:37 am
Listen to you mar! Fear, listen to your heart! And your body, If there is something to fear, the warning signs are clear. I say run fast, And don't look back...Thanks so much for this. Love your Wednesday morning inspirations lady.
Susie
3/28/2018 11:20:10 am
Happy Easter Mareers! As always, you are thought provoking and I can say humor is a good resistance to fear as well, or so I hear. 3/28/2018 11:35:54 am
Hey, Sis! You know you hit my topic here, lol. I've always been amazed at the way people react to their fears. They allow themselves to be so limited and controlled at times, keeping themselves from experiencing the joys that life has to offer. Some have called me an adrenaline junkie at times, but that's not the case at all. I just have never let my fears stop me. Instead, I learn all I can about my fears to overcome them. As a child, I watched how others dove off the 50 foot high platform before attempting it myself. I thrived after getting in front of crowds nightly performing stand-up comedy. I studied snakes long and hard before committing to working with and keeping venomous reptiles. And, I took a high performance racing course at age fifty to increase my driving skills (driving at 200 mph around a track is a real rush, lol). Of course, I retired early to pursue a career in writing, which is also something many won't attempt. These are only some of the major things that people would call "crazy" that I've done, but I always wanted to be the great grandfather that could tell the younger generations this is how you'd do it, instead of that one regretting "I wish I'd have done that when I was younger." I'm getting ready to drive over 200 miles one way to sit in a crowd of over 6,000 tonight to watch a basketball game since my wife won't go, and I'm happy to have the opportunity to meet some new people to talk to. I know others that if they don't have someone to go with, would stay at home moping, "I've got no one to go with." Fear only limits opportunities and one's experiences. Instead of sitting in one's living room for fear of something happening, I say, "Get out and make something happen. You might just like it!" Stop the worrying about things you can't control. Tornadoes, floods, car accidents ... things happen. Don't fear them, just handle them if you're caught in one. You're similar in that you didn't let fear control your future after your horrific experience. It's the old "get back on the horse" factor. Sorry for the rambling. You know I have a hard time stopping once I get started. lol Luv ya, Sis!
"Fear only limits opportunities and one's experiences."
Mike Friedman
3/28/2018 11:41:36 am
Sammie-isms that's great. Lots of lessons to be learned here. Hi Mar. If I would not control my fears, I would surely be in lock-up!. I think I've decided that we can't change destiny, and to try is a total waste of time. Your thoughts and experience throughout life has worked well for you. Thank you for sharing them with us. Hugs..
Dear Maria Wonderful, poignant post. I always love your way of relating topics like this. I can almost hear your voice, so comforting. I know you're an inspiration to your students. That was one difficult experience you had back in 1999, and thank you for your courage. Being in touch with ourselves, we can listen to our intuition and be ready for what comes. Sending you hugs and wishes for a wonderful week!!
Dear Cynthia,
These are insightful thoughts on controlling and managing fear. I liked your examples about not climbing a mountain - unless a bear was chasing you and jumping out of a perfectly good plane makes no sense unless. . . No need to bring on more fear and worry than is already out there. 3/31/2018 04:11:16 pm
Hi Mar...
Dear Rolly,
Dear Mareer,
Genna East
3/31/2018 11:38:26 pm
I learned, and not too long ago, that fear can imprison us. It takes a while to recover from any experience that brings us face-to-face with something truly frightening. What I found remarkable is that we don't realize this until we escape from that prison of sorts. And this takes time and a healthy approach. But it is quite the teacher, and opens new doors we never knew were there. Step one, is understanding it. Thank you for this very wise article.
paula
4/3/2018 12:33:48 am
Uh-Oh....Must I? (sigh) No time like the present to begin conquering fear.
Oh Paula, Leave a Reply. |
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