• Home
  • BOOK SHOP
    • Kylie's Stories
    • Other books by Maria Jordan >
      • Mysterious & Miraculous Book I - News and Reviews
  • BLOGS
    • mar's Desk
    • Inspiration Station
    • Poetic Ponderings
    • marcoujor on Hubpages
  • I Recommend...
  • Contact Me
  marcoujor's musings

mar's Desk

​This multi-topic blog publishes weekly on Wednesdays.
Thank you for the visit and please enjoy the reading.

Home

marcoujor: Facing Fear

3/28/2018

28 Comments

 
Picture

​

“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it."  -- Jiddu Krishnamurti

Happening upon this quotation, I felt compelled to explore the subject of fear this week.

​Please allow me to share some broad thoughts on fear - a feeling I imagine we can all relate to, in some form or another.

​

Picture
Image via Workandapix of Pixabay. Click here to view their gallery.
I would not clump fear into the same category…

... as worry, anxiety, dread or apprehensiveness - at least not consciously.

I am famous for apprehensiveness and worry in both new situations and familiar situations with new people.

Similar feelings are expressed by my nursing students as they enter the world of the unknown in their behavioral health clinical rotation. What a change will transpire over the four weeks I work with each student - the pride, confidence and understanding that comes with pushing past one’s comfort zones.

On the flip side, I believe that ‘once bitten, twice shy’.  When fearful of a person, place or situation because of past experience, I have no need to try again. With the maturity that age brings, I am able to leave the past in the past, which reminds me that not all new experiences are unsafe.   

Do I have control over my fears …

… more importantly, perhaps, do I have control over the outcome of my fear?

For example, I spend next to no time fearing the thought of death. I remember Mom frequently telling me: “When it’s your time to go, you will go. Be ready at all times.”  

This point was honed into my mindset in June, 1999 - when, by all logic and reason, I should have died. Now almost twenty years later, I know that ‘my time’ will come as it is meant to.

Now, in those situations where I do have control over my exposure to known fears, I am the epitome of a control freak.  I find myself speaking Sammie-isms as I say: “I’m not going to borrow trouble.  I didn’t lose anything in _______. I wouldn’t ______ for all the tea in China.”

In fact, if you ever see me _______, you will know I have totally lost my mind.  Examples might include:
  • jumping out of a plane - unless it’s on fire;
  • climbing a mountain - unless a bear is chasing me from behind;
  • on an amusement park ride - life is topsy turvy enough

I also consider if there is something meaningful to be learned by exposure / participation in the activity / experience.

No matter what, I would do my best to escape…

... protect myself / those I love / care for from dangerous circumstances - those compromising life or safety..

Fear is healthy in such situations, and I allow my fight or flight instincts to serve me.

“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it."  -- Jiddu Krishnamurti

In conclusion, in the analysis of this quotation, I think there is much to be learned about fear without accompanying exposure to the harmful / dangerous person, thing or situation.  Equal in importance is learning to listen to / trust our instincts in times when ‘escape’ is the safer alternative.

As ever, I welcome your thoughts, whether in the comments or via email. Thanks for joining me again this week...


​ShoutOuts

☙ Addictive Hobbies via Martie’s Foyer​
☙ The Gumboots via WarnerWords
☙ The Priceless Value of a Journal via flashPress

Happy Easter. Happy Passover. Until next week, wishing you peace and hugs, mar
28 Comments
Helena
3/28/2018 07:47:55 am

very well written Happy easter and peace to you too

Reply
Maria link
3/29/2018 08:26:48 pm

So lovely to see you here, dear Helena.

Love you and Happy Easter!

Reply
Verlie Burroughs
3/28/2018 10:45:37 am

Listen to you mar! Fear, listen to your heart! And your body, If there is something to fear, the warning signs are clear. I say run fast, And don't look back...Thanks so much for this. Love your Wednesday morning inspirations lady.

Reply
Maria link
3/29/2018 08:28:25 pm

Love your comment but love you more, dear V. Hugs :)

Reply
Susie
3/28/2018 11:20:10 am

Happy Easter Mareers! As always, you are thought provoking and I can say humor is a good resistance to fear as well, or so I hear.

Reply
Maria link
3/29/2018 08:30:51 pm

Susie girl,

NOONE makes me laugh like you do. In fact, with you, I am totally fearless amidst my hysteria ... ;)

Happy Easter to you too, mareer

Reply
Rich Rumple link
3/28/2018 11:35:54 am

Hey, Sis! You know you hit my topic here, lol. I've always been amazed at the way people react to their fears. They allow themselves to be so limited and controlled at times, keeping themselves from experiencing the joys that life has to offer. Some have called me an adrenaline junkie at times, but that's not the case at all. I just have never let my fears stop me. Instead, I learn all I can about my fears to overcome them. As a child, I watched how others dove off the 50 foot high platform before attempting it myself. I thrived after getting in front of crowds nightly performing stand-up comedy. I studied snakes long and hard before committing to working with and keeping venomous reptiles. And, I took a high performance racing course at age fifty to increase my driving skills (driving at 200 mph around a track is a real rush, lol). Of course, I retired early to pursue a career in writing, which is also something many won't attempt. These are only some of the major things that people would call "crazy" that I've done, but I always wanted to be the great grandfather that could tell the younger generations this is how you'd do it, instead of that one regretting "I wish I'd have done that when I was younger." I'm getting ready to drive over 200 miles one way to sit in a crowd of over 6,000 tonight to watch a basketball game since my wife won't go, and I'm happy to have the opportunity to meet some new people to talk to. I know others that if they don't have someone to go with, would stay at home moping, "I've got no one to go with." Fear only limits opportunities and one's experiences. Instead of sitting in one's living room for fear of something happening, I say, "Get out and make something happen. You might just like it!" Stop the worrying about things you can't control. Tornadoes, floods, car accidents ... things happen. Don't fear them, just handle them if you're caught in one. You're similar in that you didn't let fear control your future after your horrific experience. It's the old "get back on the horse" factor. Sorry for the rambling. You know I have a hard time stopping once I get started. lol Luv ya, Sis!

Reply
Maria link
3/29/2018 08:41:36 pm

"Fear only limits opportunities and one's experiences."

Dear BFAM,

I love your life philosophy - you can inspire me and crack me up at the same time ... no mean feat, ya know?! Thank you for this wonderful comment.

Hoping you had a fabulous time at the basketball game.

Happy Easter to you and your lovely bride. Love ya, Sis

Reply
Mike Friedman
3/28/2018 11:41:36 am

Sammie-isms that's great. Lots of lessons to be learned here.

Reply
Maria link
3/29/2018 08:42:59 pm

Always a pleasure when you stop by, dear Mike - thanks!

Reply
Ruby link
3/28/2018 02:45:48 pm

Hi Mar. If I would not control my fears, I would surely be in lock-up!. I think I've decided that we can't change destiny, and to try is a total waste of time. Your thoughts and experience throughout life has worked well for you. Thank you for sharing them with us. Hugs..

Reply
Maria link
3/29/2018 08:50:13 pm

Dear Ruby,

It is TERRIFIC to see you here. Thanks for your wise perspectives.

Wishing you a rejuvenating Easter.

Love you lots, mar

Reply
Martie link
3/28/2018 03:05:53 pm

Dear Maria

I fear a lot of things - Burying one of my beloveds, getting tortured and killed by one of SA sub-humans, experiencing a car crash, not to talk about a plane crash, losing my ability to take care of myself, etc... BUT, I have learned how to kill my fears with a single thought: What will be will be.

Thanks for a though-provoking post!

Hugs,

Martie

Reply
Maria link
3/29/2018 08:52:25 pm

Que será, será ... a most excellent point, dear Sista.

Love you and sending you a bushel of hugs, mar

Reply
Cynthia link
3/28/2018 11:24:58 pm

Wonderful, poignant post. I always love your way of relating topics like this. I can almost hear your voice, so comforting. I know you're an inspiration to your students. That was one difficult experience you had back in 1999, and thank you for your courage. Being in touch with ourselves, we can listen to our intuition and be ready for what comes. Sending you hugs and wishes for a wonderful week!!

Reply
Maria link
3/29/2018 08:55:43 pm

Dear Cynthia,

That you 'can almost hear my voice' is a most meaningful comment - thank you ever so much.

You are correct. As difficult as 1999 was for me, honing my intuition and gaining clarity were two amazing gifts I received.

Hope you are having a peaceful Easter week. Love, Maria

Reply
Peg link
3/29/2018 07:39:45 am

These are insightful thoughts on controlling and managing fear. I liked your examples about not climbing a mountain - unless a bear was chasing you and jumping out of a perfectly good plane makes no sense unless. . . No need to bring on more fear and worry than is already out there.
At a seminar I attended in Dallas where Mark Victor Hansen of Chicken Soup for the Soul was a guest speaker he said, "Fear is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real." I always found that interesting.

Reply
Maria link
3/29/2018 10:12:16 pm

Dear Peg,

I love the acronym you learned for FEAR ... so true.

Thanks for your comments and perspectives.

Hope you are having a peaceful week. Love, Maria

Reply
Rolly A. Chabot link
3/31/2018 04:11:16 pm

Hi Mar...
Great subject matter, understanding where the fear originates is so important. I have always been one to face them head on like heights, cured by two things you have mentioned. Jumping from and airplane and climbing mountains. Both have cured the fear I had.
Next came the fear of drowning after coming very close as a child. I took up scuba diving even being certified to dive on tri-mix gas to a depth of 420 feet.
If I had a fear it would be passing through a violent death. I would hate to think of the last few minutes of life being filled with terror and pain. Something you have experienced and overcome to be able to continue doing what you have been called to do...

Hugs and all from Alberta

Reply
Maria link
4/4/2018 10:46:40 am

Dear Rolly,

You have such a healthy attitude and respect for life and its many wonders. Perhaps if we were together, I 'might' be talked into climbing a mountain - honestly not ever sure I'd voluntarily jump out of a plane.

Thanks for your visit and the inspiration you bring me.

Hugs to you and Angel, mar

Reply
Vicki link
3/31/2018 10:58:28 pm

Dear Mareer,

I enjoyed this post, and the thoughtfulness that went into it. I think fears are opportunities to conquer them, and they can originate from so many causes it is difficult to even consider them all.
I guess it's something we all are confronted with so many times in life.
The question is, do you find ways to come to terms with them, or do you get sucked in to them, and become more fearful as a result?
Very interesting!
Love and hugs,
Vickster

Reply
Maria link
4/4/2018 10:54:45 am

Dear Vickster,

How I would love to chat with you further about this (and so many other subjects) over coffee.

Thank you for your perspectives and ponderings on fear - so happy you are starting to feel a bit better too.

Have a peaceful day. Love, mareer

Reply
Genna East
3/31/2018 11:38:26 pm

I learned, and not too long ago, that fear can imprison us. It takes a while to recover from any experience that brings us face-to-face with something truly frightening. What I found remarkable is that we don't realize this until we escape from that prison of sorts. And this takes time and a healthy approach. But it is quite the teacher, and opens new doors we never knew were there. Step one, is understanding it. Thank you for this very wise article.

Happy Easter, dear Maria. Luv you.

Reply
Maria link
4/4/2018 10:57:38 am

Dear Genna,

Your remarks are wise and filled with life perspective.

Thanks for your visit. Hoping you and yours had a lovely Easter.

Love you too, Maria

Reply
Angelia link
4/1/2018 09:16:48 pm

Prof. Mahreer,

Good post on something sooooo many folks struggle with.

A few months ago I added "courage and healing for those who are frightened and discouraged" to my prayer list. It will prolly stay on the list permanently.

Reply
Maria link
4/4/2018 10:59:53 am

I agree, dear Ange - I'm convinced that fears, while individual for each of us, are universal in the grand scheme.

Your prayers and thoughtful comments are always appreciated.

Reply
paula
4/3/2018 12:33:48 am

Uh-Oh....Must I? (sigh) No time like the present to begin conquering fear.
Well girlfriend, I like what you said that we mustn't clump fear in with "worry, anxiety, dread or apprehensiveness." Whew! That's a relief, because I have a truckload of all that baggage! Nice to know I can put those aside to deal with real fears! (gulp!) I haven't had this much fun since being stuck at the top of a ladder for 3 hours, afraid to come back down! How do I thank you for this self-exposure??
FEAR as in phobias? I hope not. Neither you nor I have enough time for me to list mine. Let's just say my precious (late) big sister told me repeatedly I was a "kill-joy, chicken sh-t, and totally void of a sense of adventure." Of course she said that lovingly while smiling. Thanks, Pat. My mantra has always been, "Oh gosh, I don't THINK so....looks dangerous to me!" Help. No chance of me changing at this age. honey. I'd barely get to facing phobia #2 before my time is simply up!
However, I do know you're absolutely correct and I appreciate the words of wisdom. I'll work on it. Maybe tomorrow, maybe not. Look my sweet friend, I'd say anyone who travels to the fabulous city of Paris, France, to sit on a park bench feeding the pigeons, while watching everyone else climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower (& can't even watch them without having tummy flips) has a morbid fear of heights. Even if I attempted to face my fear by climbing up, who will carry my fat ass back down when I pass out? Really girl, I know when I'm paralyzed. Love & hugs! Effer

Reply
Maria link
4/4/2018 11:04:08 am

Oh Paula,

You and this comment make me want to hug you and tickle you wildly at the same time. It's skeery how much alike we are...

...soooo when are we going to Paris. You clearly need someone to sit on the bench with you and keep you out of trouble... :)

Love you and thanks for reminding me I'm not afraid to laugh!

Hugs, Maria

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner


    The Web Only Your Site

    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

    I am a work in progress, so a rule of thumb is to expect the unexpected every week!

    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

    Thank you,

    mar  



    Archives

    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    October 2014
    August 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013

    Thanks for Sharing!

    Popular Posts

    On Schizophrenia
    For the Love of Reading
    Kindness Does Not Discriminate
    A Healthy Recipe for a Balanced Life
    Playing the Game of Life
    Behind the Scenes at the Carriage Driver
    Remembering Mary
    How Wonderful
    The Legend of David Bowie
    Resolutions & Revelations
    The Gift of Life in Death
    The Charitable Spirit
    I Recommend
    The Magic of Soul Music
    Thanksgiving Leftovers
    ​Musings on Gratitude
    ​Perfection and Peace
    ​Everlasting Memories
    Adele Saying ''Hello''
    My Hero: Bruce Castor
    The Happiness Habit
    What Matters
    My Health Coach
    Vanity Views
    ​Just a Nurse
    ​Today is a Gift
    Everybody Hurts
    Bathroom Blues
    TIPS on Writing
    Self-Love or Selfish... ?
    The Power of Feedback
    A Balancing Act
    From Alphabets to Artichokes
    Findings on Finger-Labyrinths
    "Tell me a story, Kimmie..."
    Lessons of the Heart
    Sharing a Melody
    The Pleasure of Polarities
    The Ocean and Everything
    Letter to Sunshine
    Take Care of Yourself
    HOME
    GIFT SHOP
    AD SERVICES & SPONSORS
    BLOGS
    CONTACT ME
    I Recommend...
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • BOOK SHOP
    • Kylie's Stories
    • Other books by Maria Jordan >
      • Mysterious & Miraculous Book I - News and Reviews
  • BLOGS
    • mar's Desk
    • Inspiration Station
    • Poetic Ponderings
    • marcoujor on Hubpages
  • I Recommend...
  • Contact Me