mar's Desk

marcoujor: Going Easy

5/10/2017

While it’s taken some years, I am readily able to recognize my limits--both physically and emotionally. As with most things in life, the emotional aspect has been way more of a challenge.

I frequently tell others, “Be gentle with yourself.”

This month I remember my mother who would frequently tell me to “Go easy, Mareer.”

Part of being gentle with myself is...

Recognizing people and situations that are potentially stressful. Reminding myself that I have power in choosing whom I interact with and to what extent.

Relaxing and letting go of things go that are out of my control, including remarks that are hurtful, whether intentional or incidental. Mental-wars take up way too much time and head-space. Plus, they’re absolutely exhausting.

Feeling and exploring my emotions with self-compassion. I recently listened to Hurt, by Johnny Cash, for a few different reasons. Even the saddest music can bring me a sense of relief and peace.

Reminding myself it’s human to feel, to hurt, and to struggle. I am not immune to life’s inevitable hurts and challenges. Life is not perfect and neither am I.

Remembering Mom (May 28, 1927 - May 7, 2010)

Mom and me...

Remembering Aunt Baby (May 4, 2004 - May 29, 2014)

Sweet, Aunt Baby...

ShoutOuts

☙ "The Wolf In Us" via Fireside with Rolly

☙ Plant People ~ A Heads Up! Via WarnerWords

☙ Daith Piercing: Relief from migraines and more via flashPress

Until next week, be gentle with yourself,

mar

24 Comments

Peg Cole link

5/10/2017 09:21:08 am

It is so difficult to accept our limitations at times. As I get older I'm not able to do so many of the things I took for granted years ago. When I visit Mom and her sister, I'm reminded to be grateful that I can still do everyday activities that are easy to take for granted. Hugs and thoughts go out to you during this difficult time of the year in remembering your Mom.

Maria link

5/11/2017 08:06:00 am

Dear Peg,
Your words are as soothing as a soft hug. Thanks for your presence and perspective and for sharing your beautiful Mom and Aunt with me.
Love you much, mar

Michael link

5/10/2017 11:47:50 am

Sage advice from you're mother. It's being able to discern those moments when we're distracted from our preferred path that's the key. Mindfulness takes time and effort to make it a permanent part of our lives.

Maria link

5/11/2017 08:09:15 am

Dear Michael,
Sounds like I'm 'preaching to the choir' with you - I appreciate your insightful remarks here.
The state of mindfulness has taken me awhile to understand and appreciate. Today it surely is the place I like to hang out.

Vicki link

5/10/2017 12:54:12 pm

Dear Mareer,

Glad you're able to take it easy when you need to. That's a shining example to everyone!
Strange thing about that not-so-wise saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." I actually think that words can be extremely painful, and last a long time.
Glad you resolved things, and you're absolutely right - it's great that we can choose who we want to interact with.
Loved your pics as always, and nice that Johnny could be by your side at this time.
Love and hugs,
Vickster

Maria link

5/11/2017 08:12:20 am

Along with Johnny Cash, it is comforting to have you by my side, dear Vickster. Thanks for the call to check in and the resultant laughs we shared -just what the doctor ordered...!

Thanks for being you - Love you and big hugs too, mareer

Martie link

5/10/2017 12:59:20 pm

Dearest Mar, I missed your post last week, but knew you had a good reason to let it go. We often find ourselves in a situation where we are compelled to be gentle with ourselves. Only the wise among us manage to do it. I am not always among the wise, and that is why I need friends like you to remind me what I am supposed to do.

Take good care of yourself, dear Maria. You are a precious friend to many and don't deserve to be hurt by anyone.

Hugs,

Martie

Maria link

5/11/2017 08:23:23 am

Dear Martie,
I love and depend on how much we tell each other to 'go easy' on ourselves - sometimes even at the same time!
Sending you love and a bushel of hugs, mar

Mike

5/10/2017 01:06:35 pm

Hello mar - There is a good deal of wisdom packed in this brief edition of mar's desk. We all seem to be looking in all directions, we are all going slower. As for words, I don't remember any bruises I have suffered, but I do remember some hurtful words thrown in my direction. You carry your Mother's love in your heart. That love may feel heavy, but that is because there was so much of it.

Maria link

5/11/2017 08:31:14 am

Dear Mike,
Your comment is wise in and of itself.
I'm sorry for any hurtful words that found their way to you.
I've said it before but Miss Sammie would have loved you - we had eerily similar views of those around us.
Hugs and thanks, mar

Nellieanna Hay link

5/10/2017 10:22:41 pm

This is excellent, dear lady. Your mother was quite wise and so are you. Those steps to staying calm and self-acceptant (and more acceptant of others, in the process) are so right!

Maria link

5/11/2017 08:33:08 am

Always a delight to see you, dear and wise Nellieanna.

Love you and thanks for your beautiful presence in my life, Maria

Rolly link

5/10/2017 11:35:07 pm

Hi Maria...
At one time a few years back I would often tell myself "Limits and limitations existed only in our minds." Now I have to rethink things in so many ways as I age. Yet it is hard to let go at times.
Forgiveness is a hard thing for many as we hold onto those old hurts. I have learned by hanging onto things they become just another anchor in life.
The hardest person to forgive is ourselves. Thank you for the reminder it is what we truly have to strive for... great words of wisdom...

Hugs from Canada

Maria link

5/11/2017 08:43:06 am

Dear Rolly,
Thank you for adding such a wise perspective to this post.
I have also learned that self - forgiveness is the most challenging, but ever so worth the time put into the process.
I'm loving your posts and hope others will take the time to check out Fireside with Rolly.
Hugs back from PA and have a peaceful day, Maria

paula link

5/11/2017 11:36:41 am

Marie. I appreciate the reminder...so Thank you to both you and Sammie. The reality is, we're keenly aware when we need to slow down and be gentle with ourselves, but do we always listen?
I can say this much. As the pages of the calendar begin to fall~my body, heart & mind speak to me, clearly & loudly. I promise you that I am much happier, healthier and at peace for "listening." So girlfriend, prepare to have an amazing summer! I know I will. Hugs, Paula

Maria link

5/17/2017 08:41:09 am

Thanks for such a beautiful comment, dear Paula.

Having a fantastic summer sounds like just what the doctor ordered - meet you at the beach!

Love and hugs, Maria

Sannel link

5/11/2017 12:23:50 pm

Dear Maria,

Miss Sammie's words of wisdom are words to live by, and a good reminder that we all need to be gentle with ourselves. So many of us have learned to aim our attention on others, neglect our own needs and commitment and letting ourselves be burned up emotionally and/or physically because of it. To break such a pattern and make self-care a priority takes endurance, wisdom, support and practice, and eventually, over enough time, it will be a skill we can master. Holding the memories of someone as wise and loving such as your beautiful Mom, will bring strength and make this journey less lonely.

My love and hugs goes out to you on this sad month of May in remembering your Mom and Aunt Baby. They both was born and they both passed away in the month of May. How odd!

Thank you for sharing the beautiful music of Mr. Cash and Miss Womack. Yes, I do believe Miss Sammy and Aunt Baby are dancing in Heaven as we speak. :)
Be gentle with yourself, my precious friend,
Put on those dance shoes and swirl around the house with Andy and Zoey leading your way.
Hugs,
Sannel

Maria link

5/17/2017 08:44:45 am

Your comment feels like we are sharing a cup of tea, dear Sannel. Thanks for your words of comfort.

You are a beautiful soul and I'm so grateful to have you in my world.

Hope you are soaking up as much sunshine as possible on your getaway.

Love you lots and hugs from A, Z and me, Maria

Kelly byrnes Trusdell

5/15/2017 04:07:10 pm

So glad I visited this has put NY mind at ease.

Maria link

5/17/2017 08:50:34 am

Great to see you, Kelly - thanks for stopping by and always be gentle with yourself.

Angelia Phillips link

5/15/2017 04:28:23 pm

Prof. Mahreer,

I'm glad you recognize your limitations, and what sort of situations are toxic. We sometimes have to be exposed to them, but we don't have to develop a lingering mindset based on them.

I'm even more thankful you realize your own value and that you have value to many others who love you, respect you and consider you a blessing.

I one of those mentioned in the last graph. I'm one of many. (◕‿◕)

Maria link

5/17/2017 08:55:34 am

"We don't have to develop a lingering mindset based on (toxic situations)"...

Thanks for this astute observation - which may be the crux of the matter, dear Ange.

I treasure your support and opinion of me. Love and hugs, mar

Shauna

6/13/2017 02:09:30 pm

Mar, I'm in the same place as you in my psyche. Now, at age 60, I'm all about going easy. I especially relate to your first bullet point. I steer clear of or at least limit my time with people and situations that bring stress and strife to my life. I'm also getting a good grasp on your second bullet point. I don't let much bother me anymore.

I find myself in a very comfortable, content place right now. They say wisdom comes with age. So does strength and recognition of self. I feel me, myself and I have finally merged.

Love the musical memories you've shared and dedicated to Miss Sammie and Aunt Baby. I enjoyed Johhny Cash's song too. I'd never heard that one. I was a little taken aback to see how old is was in that video. It's sad that it seems he had regrets in his waning years. Guess he hadn't learned how to "merge".

Maria link

6/15/2017 06:35:13 am

Dear Sha,
I knew you would relate to this post. Love how you describe the merging of 'me, myself and I' - a much lovelier way of expressing our self - actualization.
I agree that Johnny Cash and many others were / are not able to reach this state of self awareness and contentment. The older I get, the more sure I am that this has nothing to do with money, status or class.
Love you, true blue. Hope your week is going peacefully.
Hugs, mar

mar's Desk

marcoujor: Going Easy

Remembering Mom (May 28, 1927 - May 7, 2010)

Remembering Aunt Baby (May 4, 2004 - May 29, 2014)

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mar's Desk

marcoujor: Going Easy

​Remembering Mom (May 28, 1927 - May 7, 2010)

​Remembering Aunt Baby (May 4, 2004 - May 29, 2014)

​ShoutOuts

Leave a Reply.

Marcoujor

Archives

Thanks for Sharing!

Popular Posts

Remembering Mom (May 28, 1927 - May 7, 2010)

Remembering Aunt Baby (May 4, 2004 - May 29, 2014)

ShoutOuts