 Mom’s childhood years were spent in the rural South - Washington GA to be exact. Her parents were loving and old - fashioned. In Mom’s words, they ‘came from a different generation’ - where women were expected to fit a certain mold. Mom was the middle daughter - with a total of five Hinton sisters. Of all the family, Mom dared to be different. She left her hometown heading to new territory - Norristown PA to be exact - marrying my Dad and showing all of us that molds are for Jello… !! There were geographical and cultural expectations as to where we would attend grade school. Mom bypassed the school where being of Italian - American descent was a requirement for school and church attendance. Mind you, the Couchara family fit this criteria. We are about as Italian - American as it gets. Instead our chosen grade school and church embraced and welcomed families with a wide variety of cultural backgrounds. Mom’s words rang true so many times as I witnessed and interacted with friends of all colors and ethnicities. Mom was proud as a peacock when her children went to college. Mom was especially proud of me and my sister - as this was not her reality - even after she graduated with the highest GPA in high school and the offer of a full college scholarship. Before getting married in 1987, I had several talks with Mom - including my asking her feelings on couples who choose not to have children. Mom reminded me of the clear distinction between those who choose not to have children and those who cannot bear children naturally for a variety of medical reasons. Mom told me that I would always be maternal with the animals, the patients and the students who would cross my path. Mom reminded me that personal happiness and fulfillment was the ultimate marker of success. “What a boring world it would be if we were all the same. Being different is OK - it’s to be celebrated.” Mom continues to be the wisest person I’ve known. I’m ever grateful for the number of heart to heart conversations we had over the years. I regret that my great-nephews and great-nieces do not have the direct benefit of her candor and views in their formative years. I am asking Santa Claus to be excessively generous in spreading tolerance and respect in his travels - along with the obligatory material gifts that are ‘present’ during this holiday season. This song has been stuck in my mental soundtrack since Thanksgiving… yes, Virginia, there is even meaning in the introductory dialogue between David Bowie and Bing Crosby: ShoutOutsUntil next week, dare to be different and sprinkle some tolerance around you, mar
21 Comments
Lesley Pickthorne
12/6/2017 07:35:52 am
Hi Maria, my favourite song of all time. A beautiful read, I still remember a hubpages article you wrote about your Mum, I think it was called The scent of my mother still, it touched my heart, sending much love your way. X
Barbara Jones
12/6/2017 04:42:29 pm
Just lovely. The voices of Bing and David Bowie blended so perfectly. I could not help but play it many times over.
Sweet Maria! I had to read your post and comment. I should be getting ready for work. lol. But this is how much I love you!
Dear Cynthia,
Mike
12/6/2017 10:00:52 am
Hello mar - Your Mother certainly left an impression on you. You have filled your life with career, and surrounded yourself with loving fur babies, as you refer to them. There is an old expression, 'if it works, don't fix it.' So, there you go, all the wisdom I can muster at this early hour.
Dear Maria,
Dear Vickster,
It is a blessing to have a mother whose wisdom spans the ages. She truly did have a gift of saying the things that would comfort you and guide you even after she went on to the next life.
Shauna
12/6/2017 12:24:05 pm
Mar, your mom was a woman who knew and believed in herself, despite what the mores of her time dictated. You couldn't ask for a better role model.
Dear Mar
Rich Rumple
12/7/2017 03:00:35 am
Hey, Sis, well done as always. One of the greatest losses I've endured in life was losing my mother the Fall of my thirteenth year. She'd been my "rock" in the support and love arenas, and the one parent I could always count on to be there for me. Even though she left me alone at such an early age, she'd prepared me well to tackle life. One of her comments was, "You never want to be like the others. Always do your best to be unique." I probably took her words too much to heart and did exactly that. This was to the chagrin of my family at times as my refusal to be one of the sheep at work probably did little to protect my longevity there. Still, I had to be me and made minimal compromises to things I felt would cause me to lose my identity. We are all products of what we were taught and decided to accept and cherish or cast away. My mother, though absent, was always there within me, and I'm glad she was. The things I've done in my life, be they called fool hearty and dangerous by some, continued to prove that I wasn't about to follow the norm and be the person that told their great grandchildren, "I wish I'd have done that", but to be the one that could sit with them and say, "This is what it's like to do that." Being a risk taker, be it by sky diving, performing stand-up, hunting and collecting venomous reptiles for venom extractions, taking a high performance driving course at age 51, or entering the writing world at a late age, has given me adrenaline rushes and a status among my high school peers that none of them match. My ego is satisfied, my confidence level high, and if nothing else, I've proven to my kids that if you want something you have to take the risks to succeed at it. I know my mother is looking down at me and shaking her head, wishing at times she'd have maybe rephrasing her statement to me, but at the same time, hiding the smile I've brought to her face. Good mothers are hard to find ... luckily, you and I were blessed with them.
Dear Rich, 12/12/2017 02:01:22 pm
Prof. Mahreer,
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