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  marcoujor's musings

mar's Desk

​This multi-topic blog publishes weekly on Wednesdays.
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Marcoujor: Perfection and Peace

11/18/2015

28 Comments

 
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marcoujor

November Notations and Perspectives...

"I wanted you to be a happy, carefree little girl with no worries beyond being sure that your teddy bear was in your bed at night. I wanted you to be exposed to any learning experience, since you always had so much curiosity and needed to know 'why', your favorite word." (Miss Sammie's journal, May, 2002)
Is it any wonder that I attended the "Arrive Already Loved" Gestalt workshop this past weekend?  I consider it a privilege to learn and grow under the intuitive and skilful guidance of Mariah Fenton-Gladis any chance I get.
​
On Friday evening in an opening exercise we were asked to select a song that resonnated with how we were feeling in the moment.  I chose "Imagine" by John Lennon .  The lyrics make me continue to believe that peace and ongoing healing is possible - despite the horrors and trauma in our world today.
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Mariah's gentle, yet powerful, message was to spread love, compassion and understanding every day - in each of us - from the inside out. 

Saturday I experienced and witnessed the courageous and healing work of old and new friends.  I was chosen to play roles in creating 'exact moments of healing' with some work involving neglectful or absent mothers.

Sunday I was able to do my own piece of work.  After Mariah's succinct, but pointed, questions, I was able to discover what I needed in that moment.  After my work, I'm left with incredible freedom of my own expectations for perfection from myself.  Although I always understood the roots of this need, I was able to experience the freedom found with humility, appreciation and permission to free myself of the need for 'perfect behavior at all times' through reenacting a situation that was memorable from my early childhood.
​
My parents did everything, within their power, to give me a happy and carefree childhood. Looking back, I was as comfortable and safe as this little baby in her Daddy's arms through my formative years.

Mom (Sammie) and Dad (Henry) both had modest childhoods and were used to doing without in the way of material possessions. Mom was the middle of five daughters, growing up in Washington, GA. Dad was the youngest of 10, raised in Norristown, PA, by Sicilian parents, who had died before I was born.
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Dad worked as far back as I can remember as a conductor for Reading Railroad. While Mom ran a firm but loving household, Dad was the bread winner.  Family and spirituality were important to my parents.
Dad believed in respect, loyalty and honor in the family. I admit he was old fashioned in his views of women, which is understandable considering his generation and our strong Italian - American heritage on my paternal side.

I smile now when an Italian meal is served without bread. I can remember the 'stink' (a Miss Sammie word...) my Daddy raised when we were invited to my brother Johnny's home and bread was not on the table. Suffice to say, there was always bread on the table after that incident.

I got my Dad talking and smiling every once in a while. He was generally so serious. As I look back, I am convinced both of my parents carried such worries in keeping our family happy, healthy and never in want for anything of true necessity.
​
Children were the center of my parent's worlds. Today my siblings and I are as different as family can be. Yet all four of us share the common love and respect of family and faith.

​Dust Yourself Off...

I consider myself to be hard working and motivated to see things through. I easily have the drive to demand the perfectionism from myself as Dad wanted from me.

I remain ever grateful for this drive; although, growing up, I was frustrated at many a 'high 90' grade that did not meet Dad's expectations.

On November 16th, it would have been Dad's 92th birthday.

Dad hated gifts by the way, preferring instead 'prayers'.

I believe he would be proud of the woman I am today, with all my flaws. And I do pray for his memory and for peace in our world one day soon.

In the meantime, my revised expectation for myself after this weekend of insights is to make 'at least one mistake a day'... I'm off to a fabulous start by the way... ☺

Meanwhile, in the rest of Weeblyhood, please check out the posts listed below.

Come, Sit A Spell via Horse Biscuits

Seniors Selling via WarnerWords

Name Dropping: You on the list? via flashPress

Until next week, be at peace and spread some too,

mar
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28 Comments
Carrie Sensenich
11/18/2015 08:00:41 am

It was a treasure being with you this weekend. You are precious and radiant and a joy to be around! That's for sharing your work with me.

Reply
Maria link
11/18/2015 03:07:24 pm

Dear "Sister" Carrie,
How lovely to be experiencing this amazing journey of learning and healing with you.
Thanks for being an inspiration and a true friend to me.
SYS and hugs, Maria

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Kimmie
11/18/2015 08:07:16 am

Good morning Mar. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Big hugs
Kimmie

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Maria link
11/18/2015 03:02:48 pm

Thinking of you, dear Kimmie and truly appreciate your sweet remarks.
Hugs back, Maria

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Sunshine
11/18/2015 11:59:27 am

Once again your words of wisdom on Wednesday are so appreciated by me! 😍

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Maria link
11/18/2015 03:01:30 pm

Thanks for the Sunshine infusion, dear Sunshine ~ always love when you stop by...😎

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paula jamison
11/18/2015 01:50:00 pm

Maria.....Hello dear friend. If not for Wednesdays I would miss you more than I already do.
This is very very touching. Thanks to you, Wednesday may become my favorite day of the week.....Hmmmm, "Hump Day," who'd have thought it?.....Love & hugs, Paula. Always a PLUS to hear from you.

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Maria link
11/18/2015 02:59:25 pm

You are the sweetest~ on Hump Day and every day, for that matter, dear Paula.

Thanks for this heartfelt comment.

Love and hugs, Maria

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Mike
11/18/2015 02:37:52 pm

What love and respect you show for your family. And always learning new things seems to be a good philosophy.

Spaghetti is all the philosophy I need.

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Maria link
11/18/2015 02:56:40 pm

Thanks, dear Mike.

Now your philosophy shows lotsa pastabilities...😉

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martie link
11/18/2015 04:08:29 pm

Dear Maria, your memories of your childhood are very much like my own. That quote of your mother is most certainly any good mother's wish for her child. Even when our children become adults, we wish we could protect them against adversary and pain. Your parents would burst with pride, if they could see you now.

What heartwarming pictures you have posted in here! I am amazed at the quality. My old photo's are only blurs!

I am so glad you find so much satisfaction in your Gestalt activities, and so glad you share some of it with us.

Take care, dear Mar. The end of the year holiday is on our doorstep.

Reply
Maria link
11/19/2015 06:08:55 am

Dear Martie,
Thanks for your sweet and comforting remarks ~ always love when you visit.
I'm amazed at how quickly the holidays are approaching.
Have a peaceful day. Love you, mar

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Vicki
11/18/2015 06:18:32 pm

Dear Maria,
Beautiful writing, beautiful life. John's song is so poignant, especially in these times. It's getting harder and harder to imagine, unfortunately.
But I digress! It's always lovely to catch more glimpses of your life, and thank you for sharing this, dear friend. I'm glad you're getting so much out of your gestalt weekends. And I'm even more glad ( gladder?) that you write about them.
Love and hugs

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Maria link
11/19/2015 06:14:13 am

Dear Vicki,
Your digression is understandable and your thoughts are shared by many...
Thanks for your support of my writing and ongoing friendship.
Love and hugs, mar

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Theresa
11/18/2015 08:46:43 pm

My Perfect and Dear Friend, Maria, Oh, I am thrilled you are allowing yourself the freedom to just be ...like the rest of us, imperfect human beings. You should feel such sweet release! Thank you for sharing about your experiences. Look for a package from southern USA in the next couple of days, lovely woman. Hugs and much love always, Theresa

Reply
Maria link
11/19/2015 06:18:32 am

Thanks for the smiles you bring along with your visits.
I will be on the lookout and thank you in advance, sweet Theresa.
Have a blessed and peaceful day.
Love, Maria

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Randi Benlulu link
11/19/2015 01:34:25 pm

Well, I'm a little late but Wednesday wisdom is still pretty darn good on Thursday! Thank you, Maria, for brightening my day!

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Maria link
11/22/2015 07:38:19 am

Dear Randi,
There is no time clock on this website and you are always welcome.
Thanks for the sweet comments and wishing you a peaceful Sunday!
Love, Maria

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Peg Cole link
11/20/2015 11:18:35 am

What a loving tribute to your Dad and the photos are fabulous. I can understand the stern guidance you received and the infrequent smiles that many people of his generation shared. Also, the need for bread served with the meal - Jim's Dad was from a huge Italian family.
It seems that your parents' guidance and love shone through all the same and that it helped develop you into the charming and successful woman that we know and love. Peg

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Maria link
11/22/2015 07:51:10 am

Thanks for this insightful and beautiful comment, dear Peg - sounds like you totally relate, which is lovely.
Wishing you a peaceful day with those you love, Maria

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Shauna
11/21/2015 10:58:01 am

I love what you've shared with us, Mar. I'm sure both your parents are proud of you as their love continues on in Heaven.

I, too, hold "Imagine" in my heart. It's my favorite song. Always has been and will be.

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Maria link
11/22/2015 07:52:33 am

Wonderful to see you, dear Sha.
I know you love "Imagine" as much as I do - we need it more than ever these days.
Love you, mar

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crazyhorseladycx link
11/21/2015 01:19:03 pm

howdy, ms. mar!

i'm so glad'ja had such 'n opportunity to 'ttend that workshop. braver soul'n myself 's that group schtuff jest aint my cuppa tea.

i myself used to strive fer perfection 'n'd get most upset when such jest t'weren't achievable fer whate'er reasons. these days, i jest do my best 'n fergive myself (perhaps too freely??) when such don't seem to be in the cards.

'twas gigglin' o'er the bread thingy. fer my dad, e'ery meal required bread 'n we lack that rich italian heritage :)

thanks fer the glimpse into yer world, 'n the reminder that we ought not be so hard'n ourselves.

big hugs 'n love!

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Maria link
11/22/2015 07:55:31 am

Big hugs and love to you too, dear Lady... :)

Your comments and warm and loving, just like you. I'm glad you are 'cutting yourself a break' more these days...and for the record, I think you're awesome.

Have a peaceful day with your horse critters!

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Genna East
11/21/2015 08:39:18 pm

Maria, I know your dear father would be very proud of the woman you have become. "Children were the center of my parent's worlds. Today my siblings and I are as different as family can be. Yet all four of us share the common love and respect of family and faith." There is no greater than this, my friend. Hugs. :-)

Genna

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Maria link
11/22/2015 07:57:25 am

Thanks for your warm and astute remarks. I love your balance and perspective, dear Genna.

Wishing you a lovely day with your family. Hugs, Maria

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Sageleaf link
7/31/2017 01:13:26 pm

I love looking through your archives. I have John Lennon's song playing as I type this. I feel inspired to create more beautiful artwork - and words - to supplant the world with more love and light. We all need this to grow - from when we are young, until our last breath. Beautiful post and loved you sharing your sweet memories of love and family, spirituality and faith. I hope you have a wonderful week! Sending big hugs!

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Maria link
8/2/2017 03:32:51 pm

Dear Cynthia,

I love when you visit my archives as well to give me an excuse to revisit my musings and memories. Thank you, dear friend.

Glad this post and "Imagine" has inspired you as well.

Love and hugs to you too, Maria

Reply



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    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

    I am a work in progress, so a rule of thumb is to expect the unexpected every week!

    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

    Thank you,

    mar  



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