Marcoujor: Perfection and Peace

marcoujor

November Notations and Perspectives...

"I wanted you to be a happy, carefree little girl with no worries beyond being sure that your teddy bear was in your bed at night. I wanted you to be exposed to any learning experience, since you always had so much curiosity and needed to know 'why', your favorite word." (Miss Sammie's journal, May, 2002)

Is it any wonder that I attended the "Arrive Already Loved" Gestalt workshop this past weekend?  I consider it a privilege to learn and grow under the intuitive and skilful guidance of Mariah Fenton-Gladis any chance I get.
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On Friday evening in an opening exercise we were asked to select a song that resonnated with how we were feeling in the moment.  I chose "Imagine" by John Lennon .  The lyrics make me continue to believe that peace and ongoing healing is possible - despite the horrors and trauma in our world today.

Mariah's gentle, yet powerful, message was to spread love, compassion and understanding every day - in each of us - from the inside out. 

Saturday I experienced and witnessed the courageous and healing work of old and new friends.  I was chosen to play roles in creating 'exact moments of healing' with some work involving neglectful or absent mothers.

Sunday I was able to do my own piece of work.  After Mariah's succinct, but pointed, questions, I was able to discover what I needed in that moment.  After my work, I'm left with incredible freedom of my own expectations for perfection from myself.  Although I always understood the roots of this need, I was able to experience the freedom found with humility, appreciation and permission to free myself of the need for 'perfect behavior at all times' through reenacting a situation that was memorable from my early childhood.
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My parents did everything, within their power, to give me a happy and carefree childhood. Looking back, I was as comfortable and safe as this little baby in her Daddy's arms through my formative years.

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Mom (Sammie) and Dad (Henry) both had modest childhoods and were used to doing without in the way of material possessions. Mom was the middle of five daughters, growing up in Washington, GA. Dad was the youngest of 10, raised in Norristown, PA, by Sicilian parents, who had died before I was born.
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Dad worked as far back as I can remember as a conductor for Reading Railroad. While Mom ran a firm but loving household, Dad was the bread winner.  Family and spirituality were important to my parents.

Dad believed in respect, loyalty and honor in the family. I admit he was old fashioned in his views of women, which is understandable considering his generation and our strong Italian - American heritage on my paternal side.

I smile now when an Italian meal is served without bread. I can remember the 'stink' (a Miss Sammie word...) my Daddy raised when we were invited to my brother Johnny's home and bread was not on the table. Suffice to say, there was always bread on the table after that incident.

I got my Dad talking and smiling every once in a while. He was generally so serious. As I look back, I am convinced both of my parents carried such worries in keeping our family happy, healthy and never in want for anything of true necessity.
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Children were the center of my parent's worlds. Today my siblings and I are as different as family can be. Yet all four of us share the common love and respect of family and faith.

​Dust Yourself Off...

I consider myself to be hard working and motivated to see things through. I easily have the drive to demand the perfectionism from myself as Dad wanted from me.

I remain ever grateful for this drive; although, growing up, I was frustrated at many a 'high 90' grade that did not meet Dad's expectations.

On November 16th, it would have been Dad's 92th birthday.

Dad hated gifts by the way, preferring instead 'prayers'.

I believe he would be proud of the woman I am today, with all my flaws. And I do pray for his memory and for peace in our world one day soon.

In the meantime, my revised expectation for myself after this weekend of insights is to make 'at least one mistake a day'... I'm off to a fabulous start by the way... ☺

Meanwhile, in the rest of Weeblyhood, please check out the posts listed below.

Come, Sit A Spell via Horse Biscuits

Seniors Selling via WarnerWords

Name Dropping: You on the list? via flashPress

Until next week, be at peace and spread some too,

mar