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  marcoujor's musings

mar's Desk

​This multi-topic blog publishes weekly on Wednesdays.
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marcoujor: Ponderings on Compassion

9/5/2016

22 Comments

 
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​​September is Here...

As another school year begins, I feel a sense of excitement and anticipation. There is a humbling opportunity to influence  the nursing profession of the future. In the relatively short time I work with each student, I emphasize a safe and compassionate approach with the patients they begin to work with. 

Students have varying degrees of understandable anxiety. I always hope for a staff that will be compassionate towards the students as well, despite the hectic pace that health care workers keep these days.


I explain to my charges that compassion literally means to suffer together.
  • Yet, some nurses eat their young. I once thought all nurses were compassionate. Instead of suffering together, some can cause suffering by their manner.
  • Some nurses become impatient with student nurses. It's hard to imagine they, themselves, were students at one time.
  • Some nurses even appear to resent the clients they sign on to care for. This is the saddest scenario of all.
​
Nurses, and others who work with people, can suffer from compassion fatigue, where stress, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, the pressures of personal and professional responsibilities, and vicarious trauma, are ever present.

Television and other forms of social media are saturated with tragedy, having the added potential of dulling otherwise caring people to the suffering of others.

​Leave your troubles at the gate

My first nursing supervisor barked orders at me as if she were a drill sergeant. I realized she never mentally left the Army, yet her voice softened with me over the years.

At the tender age of 22, I learned quickly to leave my troubles at the gate.

My supervisor was all about the patients. She could care less what was going on in your personal world. You were expected to report to work. Lateness was unacceptable. Period.

Despite her hard-edged, autocratic style, I respected my supervisor's focus on excellent patient care. I have kept the patients as my priority throughout my career, no matter what role I have served.
​
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​Self-Compassion

​While never having experienced compassion fatigue, my life journey caused a period of overwhelming physical, emotional and spiritual fatigue at times.

In June, 1999, at the age of 37, I faced my fragility and humanity at the hands of a drug-impaired, armed man in a hostage incident that played out over 46-hours.

I experienced the other side of the bed rails, hospitalized for four weeks, as I recovered.

And seventeen years later, I remind my students of the need to be ever mindful of their vulnerability. Self awareness and self care are paramount along life's journey.


"Fragile" sung by Sting and Stevie Wonder reminds me of our universal vulnerability.

​Self-care

​Recognizing and addressing your own stress and need for self care is the most compassionate thing you can do, for yourself and those you love and work with.
  • My physical body carries me through the life that God has given me.
  • My mind helps me think about issues with clarity and meaning.
  • My soul keeps me aligned with my purpose in the universe.
My self-care plan includes:
  • Humor and laughter
  • Music--all kinds
  • Walking, especially with my dog
  • Writing, journaling, storytelling
  • Mindfulness, relaxation
  • Aromatherapy
In taking care of myself, I am better able to take care of others in a compassionate manner.

​My thanks to my sister for sharing this video clip with me from MSN. It’s short but mighty powerful. These kids are the best teachers in showing us how to have compassion, even in victory.

ShoutOuts

​☙Finding Leo via In The World
​☙Healthy Decadence: Boston Brown Bread via WarnerWords
​☙Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day: Biodegradable Cleaning Solutions via flashPress

Until next week, wishing you peace and purpose,

mar

​
22 Comments
Mike
9/7/2016 10:14:20 am

Hello Maria - Compassion, what an excellent subject this morning. The nursing profession is so lucky that you found them. The video of the kids was great.

Happy Wednesday.

Reply
femmeflashpoint link
9/7/2016 10:40:50 am

Prof. Mahreer,

Beautiful post and I wish it would go viral so all nurses and nursing instructors could read it, learn from it and employ it in their own careers.

Way to bring it, sistah and ditto what Mike said about the vid!

Reply
Maria link
9/7/2016 08:57:33 pm

What a cool thought, dear femme...with you in my corner, anything's possible. Love ya and thanks, mar

Maria link
9/7/2016 08:55:24 pm

You say the kindest things, dear Mike. Thanks for your visit and support. Happy Wednesday to you too!

Reply
Vicki link
9/7/2016 01:13:26 pm

Dear Maria,

I'm hoping your teaching on Compassion will be one of the lasting things in your students minds, and you are such a wonderful example of showing compassion towards others.
I love the video too, and the song you chose.
Love and hugs
Vicki

Reply
Maria link
9/7/2016 08:59:53 pm

Thanks, dear Vicki - I agree that compassion is one of the greatest traits I can stress with our profession's new blood.

Love and hugs to you too, Maria

Reply
Ruby link
9/7/2016 02:48:50 pm

This brought back my day's as a student nurse. I had an instructor who would toss a dime on my freshly made bed, if it bounced she tore all the bedding off and I remade it. Before the end she was a good friend, she just wanted the best. I adored the video. Thank you...

Reply
Maria link
9/7/2016 09:02:10 pm

A dime...? Wow, in my time, it was a quarter, dear Nurse Ruby!

I'm not surprised your teacher became your friend - you are a beautiful soul. Love you, Maria

Reply
Martie link
9/7/2016 05:14:05 pm

Dear Maria, I believe compassion is the most important requirement in the nursing profession. How on earth can one be a nurse or doctor if they don't have compassion? This post of yours should be part of an international course. Why not publish a book that contains thsee kind of 'lessons'. 'How to be the nurse you should be', could be the title. Hugs, Martie.

Reply
Maria link
9/7/2016 09:04:01 pm

Dear Martie,
You know you are giving me ideas - the thought of a book like this sounds doable... let me sleep on it!
Love you and your ongoing inspiration, mar

Reply
Sannel link
9/7/2016 05:33:19 pm

Dear Maria,

Compassion. . . My own favorite word!
"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." - Dalai Lama
Loved reading this post about compassion and what a privilege for a student to have you as a wonderful example of showing compassion towards others.
What a fantastic video showing the compassion of those kids. It brought tears to my eyes.
Being a huge fan of Sting, I absolutely love any version of "Fragile." So thank you for this treat.
I wish you a good day!
Love and hugs,
Sannel

Reply
Maria link
9/7/2016 09:07:39 pm

I love that quote from the Dalai Lama, dear Sannel.

I'm not surprised that you related so well to these musings - your compassion is a hallmark trait of yours.

Glad you enjoyed this YouTube - it was Sting's 60th birthday...as fine as ever for sure.

Love and hugs to you too, maria

Reply
Peg Cole link
9/8/2016 08:17:44 am

Compassion is truly an attribute that we hope to find when we need it most, if we end up as patients or even as a patient advocate. Instilling this in your students is truly valuable and important. Thanks for what you do to train the future caregivers on this essential part of their role.:)

Reply
Maria link
9/9/2016 06:08:32 am

Dear Peg,
When it comes to patient advocates, you are one of the finest.
I find compassion comes naturally when we think of The Golden Rule - hard to 'teach' but invaluable to 'possess'.
Love you and hugs to 'Mom' and Aunt Louise, Maria

Reply
Gail Sobotkin
9/8/2016 02:44:51 pm

I was in awe of my first supervisor who was everything I aspired to be---professional, compassionate, organized and well respected by staff, including doctors.
Like you, she modeled behavior new nurses could emulate and I still feel blessed that my first nursing experience of her guidance and support.
Hope your students take your advice to practice self care.

Reply
Maria link
9/9/2016 06:05:35 am

Dear Gail,
You certainly learned much and incorporated your supervisor's style in the way you continue to approach all things. You truly are an incredible nurse - always will be.
Thanks for taking time to leave such a great comment.
Love, Maria

Reply
Charlotte
9/8/2016 09:04:56 pm

Mar, that was beautiful! It does mean a lot when our nurses have compassion. My first and only nurse, was in an air force hospital. I had my one and only son there. She was so ugly to me, made me cry after she left the room. It is so wonderful, you impress new nurses to develop empathy and compassion for their patients, as well as for themselves. We can't Give something we don't already have to give!
God Bless!

Reply
Maria link
9/9/2016 06:02:52 am

Oh Charlotte,
I am ever so sorry you had such a rotten experience with a nurse - at a time in our lives when we need all the support and compassion in town.
Thanks for your visit and this wise feedback. Hugs, Maria

Reply
Shauna
9/9/2016 11:28:46 am

Mar, this is a beautiful post. It all boils down to "do unto others as you'd have others do unto you". We never know when the tables turn and we find ourselves on the other side, as you so eloquently wrote above.

Love the Stevie Wonder/Sting video. Very touching. Same with the little kids.

Reply
Maria link
9/14/2016 07:41:31 pm

Dear Sha,
Thanks for the visit and support of this post. So glad you love these videos as much as I do.
Love and hugs, mar

Reply
Theresa
9/13/2016 08:34:27 pm

Dear Maria,

I'm comforted in knowing future nurses have you as their teacher, especially in the compassion area!

I need to be more mindful of taking care of "me" too in this life, for I know if I don't, then I can't be there for others who I love so much.

Stay beautiful, in heart, mind and spirit.

As always, your choice of videos are perfect.

I hope this goes through the first time ...

Love,

Theresa

Reply
Maria link
9/14/2016 07:44:45 pm

Oh Theresa,
You are so right about the importance of your self-care ... your family and friends love and need you!
Thanks for your patience with commenting - happy I got this beautiful comment.
Love you too, Maria

Reply



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    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

    I am a work in progress, so a rule of thumb is to expect the unexpected every week!

    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

    Thank you,

    mar  



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  • Home
  • BOOK SHOP
    • Kylie's Stories
    • Other books by Maria Jordan >
      • Mysterious & Miraculous Book I - News and Reviews
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    • mar's Desk
    • Inspiration Station
    • Poetic Ponderings
    • marcoujor on Hubpages
  • I Recommend...
  • Contact Me