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mar's Desk

​This multi-topic blog publishes weekly on Wednesdays.
Thank you for the visit and please enjoy the reading.

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marcoujor: Resting peacefully

7/25/2017

18 Comments

 
Picture

Grief is a natural response with the death or loss of someone you love.


As originally identified by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, there are five stages to the grief process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

As a nurse, I understand this process from many a text book. As a writer, I will translate theory into poetic expression...


Denial  
                                     

Not feeling quite right
Too young to think about such
Busy living life.


Anger

Must be a mistake
Wasn't part of grander scheme
What the hell is this?


Bargaining

Figure this thing out
Somewhere a cure is waiting
Maybe they are wrong.

Depression

Feeling so cold now
Hollow, worn out and fragile
Alone in a crowd.


Acceptance
​

Memories comfort
Remembering time on Earth
Living and loving.

​
Picture
A recommended read by author and friend, Vicki Warner of WarnerWords.

​Many people have benefitted from her caring, experience and wisdom shared in this beautiful book.

​Click here to get it from amazon.com
Picture

​Henry Van Dyke, American author, 1852-1933

​I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

And that is dying...
Hoping that one of my faithful readers and dearest friends will find some comfort in Henry Van Dyke’s timeless, healing words about death and dying.

Sending you love and hugs across the miles and sharing a couple songs with you, dear P…​

​​ShoutOuts

☙ May Anyone Complain While War Rages in Syria? Via Martie’s Foyer
​☙ Sannel Goes To Crete via WarnerWords
​☙ FarmaCOPEia: Huggable, lovable, pettable medicine via flashPress

Until next week, wishing you peace and love,

mar

​
18 Comments
Sageleaf link
7/26/2017 08:23:35 am

Sweet Maria. What a powerful post. I love your rendition of poetry to illustrate one of life's most difficult processes. I grew up in a nursing home and death was a constant "presence." It hurt when someone you cared about left this earth. As a nurse, I'm sure you've seen it all. But, I love your poetry and the videos you shared and the book, too. Sending you big hugs! xoxo

Reply
Maria link
7/27/2017 07:26:50 am

Dear Cynthia,

Have you written / or hope you will write about your earlier experiences in a nursing home.

Thank you for your visit and appreciated feedback.

Hugs back, Maria

Reply
Peg Cole link
7/26/2017 08:59:55 am

Thank you for this beautiful poetic analogy to the ship along the horizon. That's an incredible way to look at loss. I do know the emotions of losing someone go through these phases of disbelief and anger, false hope for a cure, denial and the rest before acceptance finally sets in. Sometimes it's overwhelming, and then a small sign appears to let you know your loved one is still with you in spirit. I so love your post today and the beautiful songs that you included. Much love, hugs and thanks for being there. Peg

Reply
Maria link
7/27/2017 07:30:01 am

Dear Peg,

I'm so grateful you found some comfort in this post.

I firmly believe our loved ones are always with us in spirit - especially when we are feeling most overwhelmed.

Love you, a bushel of hugs and always here for you, mar

Reply
Mike
7/26/2017 09:51:03 am

You have to hand it to Henry Van Dyke, what an excellent way of describing what happens when a friend sails away. Thank you for such this, it is a great addition to your mar's desk. Both of us seem to be thinking about our mutual friend this week.

Reply
Maria link
7/27/2017 07:32:32 am

Dear Mike,

Yes, I also believe Henry Van Dyke hit the nail on the head about sailing on from life into heaven.

I am looking forward to tomorrow's TCD post. Hugs, mar

Reply
Richard C Rumple link
7/26/2017 09:59:36 am

Sweet Sis, I loved the poetry. I feel as though there is another stage of the grief process that hits most, in addition to those presented. Fear. Death brings this to all as those grieving are reminded of their own mortality. The common "I'm ready to go and have no fear" phrase so many present may be concerning their spiritual journey, but the realization that we are not immortal and could go at any time presents one with human worries. "What will they do without me", "Who will take care of them", etc. smacks us all in the face when we see or hear of a person passing. Perhaps, this could be part of the Acceptance phase, but is it truly ever accepted, or do we just pretend it is? Is a person ever really "Ready to go", or if given the chance, would they ask for a few more days to get things straight, and then a few more? Just some thoughts from your Bro.

Reply
Maria link
7/27/2017 07:48:06 am

Thank you for this reflective comment, dear Rich.

One thing is for sure. Dying, death and grief are complicated processes and different for each one of us. We don't necessarily experience each phase / and the order of our experiences is also a variable.

Since Kubler - Ross, other stages of grief have been labelled...including shock, pain, guilt, and testing.

As far as 'Acceptance', I've known those who I believe have accepted and others who are simply too exhausted to fight the process.

As for you and me, Bro...let's live every day as if it's our last and everything else will be a gift. Love ya and hugs too, Sis

Reply
Martie link
7/26/2017 03:56:53 pm

Dear Mar

Henry Van Dyke’s poem is one of the best I have read on the topic of grief. Your haiku's, too, explain the stages of grief clearly. Vicki Warner's "Healing Steps" is a must have for all who are struggling through the stages of grief.

My heart goes out to all who are mourning the death of a beloved.

Hugs,

Martie

Reply
Maria link
7/27/2017 07:50:49 am

Dear Martie,

Thanks for your validating comments and caring thoughts.

Hoping you week is going well. Love you lots, mar

Reply
Shannon
7/27/2017 03:07:12 pm

Hi Maria,

This post is about a topic I have found to be true to relationships and life in general and not just to death. However, it is a powerful reminder that it does get better when dealing with a loss that rips your heart out.

You know I love reading your works. I find them to be inspirational and comforting. I am sure your friend does as weall. Though it is never easy to lose someone we care about, it is always nice to know others around us care when we are hurting. You always share your kindness and compassion generously.

Reply
Maria link
7/31/2017 08:08:40 pm

Yes, Shannon ... Kubler - Ross applied these stages to death and loss of any kind.

Thank you for your visit and generous thoughts about my writing.

Reply
Angelia Phillips link
7/29/2017 10:19:22 am

Prof. Mahreer,

A beautiful and uplifting post. The last graph of van Dyke's poem is my favorite part.

There's much about this side of eternity that I love, but it pales in comparison to the magnificence of what lies ahead.

While here, I'm grateful for every blessing while consistently looking forward to life "at home" beyond the veil. 💖

Reply
Maria link
7/31/2017 08:10:32 pm

Positive and comforting insights, dear Angelia - thank you.

You are more appreciated than you know. Have a restful evening.

Reply
Sannel Larson link
7/29/2017 02:36:39 pm

Dear Maria,

Sooner or later we're all on a ship for our destined port. That's as natural as living. Some are fortunate to reach that port later in life, while some are destined to throw the anchor well ahead of their time. We never know what's impending just for us. Perhaps, that's the wonder of life. :/
Beautiful post, dear friend!
Love and hugs,
Sannel

Reply
Maria link
7/31/2017 08:13:56 pm


Thanks for your perceptive and wise remarks, dear Sannel.

Love you and hugs to you and Freddie too, Maria

Reply
Rolly A. Chabot link
8/4/2017 09:19:22 pm

Hi Maria...
Thank you for this beautiful post. Over the years I like many have seen much loss. Most much younger than myself. Some I have been very close with. Loss is loss and I truly believe we are called to step back and look deep into our own lives and ask are we ready.
What is the legacy we will leave behind. I was at a funeral today of a family friend. 94, she had a great life she served well in every capacity she could. Thelma finished very well and I am certain today she has reached her true reward. Will she be missed, certainly but I as well look at the example she left for us to follow in.
I am certain the first words she heard were "Well done good and faithful servant. To be that is the ultimate gift we could be given...

Hugs as always.

Reply
Maria link
8/10/2017 09:08:56 am

What a wise and insightful comment, dear Rolly - your perspectives and reflections are spot on in my book.

Saw your 'out fishing' sign ... hope you are enjoying some P & Q in Mother Nature.

Hugs to you, Maria

Reply



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    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

    I am a work in progress, so a rule of thumb is to expect the unexpected every week!

    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

    Thank you,

    mar  



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  • Home
  • BOOK SHOP
    • Kylie's Stories
    • Other books by Maria Jordan >
      • Mysterious & Miraculous Book I - News and Reviews
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    • mar's Desk
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    • Poetic Ponderings
    • marcoujor on Hubpages
  • I Recommend...
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