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  marcoujor's musings

mar's Desk

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marcoujor: Rise Above It

4/8/2015

24 Comments

 
Picturemarcoujor
It’s amazing to think that the students I’m teaching today are about the same age I was when I entered the field of behavioral health nursing, back in May, 1983.

I wasn't quite prepared for the hospital environment I entered as a graduate nurse. I was 21-years-old, not at all ready for the psychiatric diagnoses and the staff personalities I was about to encounter. It was fairly easy to get me to blush furiously or burst into tears, sometimes within the space of five minutes.

A terror of a nurse, named Jeanette, took me "under her claw".  I grew to both fear and respect her simultaneously.  One of her first lessons to me, no matter what the circumstance, was to rise above it! In my early years, I remembered this mantra as I gained confidence in dealing with all types of staff and patient behaviors.

Through the years, as I was promoted into educational and managerial positions, Jeanette, who always remained an excellent Charge Nurse, would respectfully remind me to rise above it, when she was in a Union capacity or at a Committee meeting.  Many of us sadly attended her funeral in the mid-90s, shortly after her retirement on medical disability. She had left a large void at the hospital. This nurse was grumpy on the exterior but soft on the inside.  She taught all she knew from her heart and soul.

Little did Jeanette know that her words would be my mantra during the darkest 46  hours of my life, when a colleague and I were held at gunpoint by man who could  not be reasoned with. I knew that I could not speak or I would be shot again. He was way too volatile. The only choice I had was to keep telling myself to  rise above it.

  • I thought it when I was angry.

  • I  thought it when I was frightened.

  • I thought it when I was  outraged.

  • I thought it when I wanted to say something and knew I could not.

  • I thought it when I felt like crying.

  • I thought it when I felt like screaming and cursing.

And I thought about other strong women in heaven like my mother-in-law, Arlene, Lillie and Clem and how they would all be helping me rise above it.

Our thoughts are more powerful than we realize.  Only we have control over them.   I know there were other variables at play that resulted in my ultimate survival  in 1999. However, I stand firm that positive thinking throughout the ordeal helped me to keep my inner strength and to survive remarkable odds.

As such, I haven't given up on Jeanette's mantra.  Whether the speedy roadster who cut me off on the way to work or the gentleman at the Mall who slams the door in my face as he is rushing to enter, it’s probably best to rise above it. The  offending party probably has something heavy on their mind or could just be rude. It isn't worth ruining my day.

Mom and Jeanette were "cut from the same cloth".  They both taught me valuable life lessons. Most of what offends us is truly minor in the grand scheme of things.  Think about how much effort you want to expend on petty grievances.


"WHEN I AM HASSLED ABOUT SOMETHING, I STOP AND ASK MYSELF WHAT DIFFERENCE IT WILL MAKE IN THE NEXT TEN MILLION  YEARS, WHICH HELPS ME GET BACK MY PERSPECTIVE."  ANNE WILSON SCHAEF
Someone else who is great for giving me perspective is Andy Jordan, my rowdy Black Labrador puppy.  Please indulge me as I share a collection of our boy playing with some Easter treats from his Auntie Elyse:

Before you go...

Picture
Here are some of the latest worthwhile posts circulating the Weeblyhood...

  • Sannel Larson: The Total Picture via Inspiration Station

  • Making Life Easier - Evernote via flashPress

  • Foraging in the Spring by Angela Mobley via WarnerWords



Until next week, take good care of yourself and ‘rise above’ the stuff!


Hugs,


mar

24 Comments
Vicki link
4/8/2015 03:51:00 am

Dear Mareer,

What a wise post, that will be helpful to many. Like you, I tend to analyze whether something is important enough to really stress over. Usually the answer is not, although the terror of your event is unimaginable to most. If you could remember to rise above it then, it is truly testament to the fact that positive self talk is one of the most powerful things that people should try to cultivate.

When you have petty grievances it's sometimes helpful to ask yourself if you'll remember them in ten years! I know I never would!

Love that black rambunctious boy of yours, dear friend. I'm sure he helps you to practice 'rising above it' on a regular basis! What a cutie!

Lovely post, and something we all have to (or should) work on the many opportunities life presents!

Love and hugs from the Vickster

Reply
Maria link
4/8/2015 10:13:50 am

Dear Vickster,

Your comment is filled with wisdom and smiles. At this moment, Andy is munching on a rawhide bone and his serving plate is a certain orange Frisbee from his Auntie V - life is good :)

Love you and hugs, mar

Reply
Mary link
4/8/2015 04:23:58 am

Maria, you are beautiful inside and out! How often people give advice but have no experience in what they are trying to tell you. Its like opening an egg shell only to find it empty. Your advice is never empty and always comes from the heart! Your strength, whether garnered from Jeanette, or your inner strenght itself, is a beacon for all to see. God bless.

Reply
Maria link
4/8/2015 10:16:15 am

Dear Mary,
What a very sweet and heartwarming comment. Thank you so very much - and for stopping by as well.
I'm looking forward to catching up with the latest chapter of 'Meeting Lizbeth' soon. Love and hugs, Maria

Reply
Paula link
4/8/2015 04:29:59 am

Maria......Incredibly wonderful words of wisdom you have shared with us, dear lady. So very true, we need to embrace this mantra and reap the benefits. It fits so well with, "Don't sweat the small stuff,.....and it's all small (in the big scope of things, as you say)
Andy is precious, just as his Mommy is......no doubt he brings you such joy and calmness.... I miss you, Hugs, Paula

Reply
Maria link
4/8/2015 10:20:29 am

Dear Paula,
I also believe in 'not sweating the small stuff' - I sure do hate to sweat (LOL)!
Yes, Andy sure does bring me joy and 'calmness' ?? - OK, let's not get carried away...he is a mere lad!
Miss you too...my semester is nearing an end at the end of the month and I should be so much more 'out and about' - thinking of you this special week...Love ya, Maria

Reply
Theresa
4/8/2015 06:12:07 am

Dear Maria, Thank you for sharing about Jeanette and her wonderful mantra. It certainly has served you well. Yes, let us choose our battles carefully. At times we can become so upset and get into such an emotional state that does no one any good and then we are spent ...and for what? Important message, sweet friend. Hugs and much love, Theresa

Reply
Maria link
4/8/2015 10:23:42 am

Your words are wise and calming to read - they are as authentic and decent as you. Hugs and love back to you, sweet Theresa.

Reply
Mike
4/8/2015 07:35:17 am

That boy Andy sure looks like he had a nice Easter and got some toys to keep him mildly entertained. He looks quite comfortable, and does not look like he is going to rise above any mischeive.

Reply
Maria link
4/8/2015 10:25:13 am

Well someone sure has Andy Jordan's number - oh, HI Mike!

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Shauna
4/8/2015 08:18:06 am

Mar, there are so many circumstances in life that we must rise above. If not, we don't grow, move forward, or thrive. It still amazes me that you got through your ordeal and have the heart you have today. Although, now that I think about it, I've done the same after having been blindfolded, held at knife-point, physically violated, then stuffed in a closet with the door barricaded. My claustrophobia and determination to get the hell out of there got me through it, although I was never again able to enter my tiny cottage apartment.

I rose above. I got through. I still smile. I still trust. I carry on. I'm thankful for life.

K. 'Nuf of that. Mr. Andy looks like he totally wore himself out with his Easter basket of toys. Now you know what to do to calm him down. He's just like a toddler. Keep him active until he needs a well-deserved nap. Take advantage of it and grab your ME time!

Reply
Maria link
4/8/2015 10:30:54 am

Certainly not 'nuf of that, my dear Sha...before I tell you how much strength and inspiration I derive from you. Despite the horrors of your past, you remain beautiful and optimistic inside and out.

We share a huge and never ending thankfulness for life and the decent people we can now choose to be with. I am so thankful for you AND your sage advice about my toddler...!

Love ya lots, mar

Reply
Shauna
4/8/2015 11:52:22 am

I love you, my sweet friend. You help me be strong.

Maria link
4/8/2015 11:50:29 pm

Thanks, sweet Sha...the feeling is mutual... :)

Reply
Peg link
4/8/2015 09:21:24 am

These are the nuggets of life that can get us through most circumstances even when they are beyond our control. You had more than your share of trials and endurance at the hand of a maniac for such an unendurable amount of time. It is amazing that you came through it and still shine so brightly. As for Mr. Andy, he looks like ten pounds of dynamite in a five pound bag. What a cutie!

Reply
Maria link
4/8/2015 10:35:08 am

Dear Peg,
Yes, exactly - "Rise above it" helps especially when things are beyond our control. Thanks for emphasizing this point.
Oh wow...someone else has Andy Jordan's number -- "ten pounds of dynamite in a five pound bag" -- hey, is there a NANNY CAM around here...LOL? Yeah, thanks for that "cutie" - I think so too.
Love you much and appreciate your visit too, Maria

Reply
Sunshine
4/8/2015 11:50:33 am

Andy looks so content with his treats! :)
Rise Above It is a fabulous mantra, one I never heard before...until now. I like it! I do appreciate you sharing.
I normally just pass things over to karma, it works like a charm. "Yo, Karma...ain't nobody got time for this BS...it's all yours!" Karma smiles. As does Sunshine.

Reply
Maria link
4/8/2015 11:49:31 pm

Oh isn't Karma grand, dear Linda...come to think of it, so are you!

Have a day filled with SUNSHINE, you sweet thing!

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Martie link
4/8/2015 12:18:58 pm

Dear Mar, 'rise above it' is something I have to tell myself almost every day. Nowadays this is quite easy, but I remember a time in my life when pettiness could keep me in a flat spin for days. What I love about all mantras - the more you practice them the better you become doing it.

This is a most encouraging post!

Lots of hugs from SA :)

Reply
Maria link
4/8/2015 11:54:03 pm

Dear Martie,

Like you, I say this to myself each and every day...sad that we need to, yet good that we are strong enough to do so - and keep on truckin'...

Thanks for your visit and your ongoing support and friendship to me!
Sending hugs to you - via Air Express (LOL)!

Reply
femmeflashpoint link
4/9/2015 08:59:40 am

Dear Prof. Mar ☺

While you're making your own legacy in the fields you love, I'm so pleased you're continuing to shine the torch for teachers-past and bringing them into the spotlight with you.

I'm in complete agreement about words, thought or spoken ones. "As a man thinketh ... " To keep my own in line when my mind begins to focus on how difficult and frustrating something or someone is, I intentionally call to mind someone else's words. I remember them pretty easily because I've been hearing and reading about them since I was a child and the author and speaker of them is my very best Friend.

When my own words are doing me no good and my feelings are causing damage ... I always have His words to help me through to a better mindset and sure enough, my heart follows and the tension eases.

I'm thankful you're able to Rise Above It and set a wonderful example of not only how things should be, but how they can be and are consistent in giving your students the better picture rather than allowing the to linger in darkness thinking they have to settle for less. ☺

femme

Reply
Maria link
4/15/2015 12:23:51 am

Dear femme,

Thank you for this thoughtful and insightful comment that I am only seeing now...yet, it would do me good to read your words of wisdom every day as a reminder.

Your gentle and kind friendship is truly a blessing in my world. I'm so very grateful for you, dear friend. Thanks for all you do for me.

Love you and hugs too, mar

Reply
Gail Sobotkin
4/10/2015 05:22:59 am

My Dear Maria,
Thanks for sharing this memorable and valuable lesson. I totally agree with the concept of rising above whatever situation I'm faced with and also agree it is sometimes hard to put into action.
What I do know for sure is that "rising above" is not my first, instinctive response, but when I am able to take a moment to regain my composure and do it, I spare myself much frustration, anger, etc. and have a much better energy level the rest of the day.
I was deeply touched by the specific examples you gave of "rising above" throughout your horrific ordeal. It was a matter of life and death for you at that time, and I'm sure it did help save your life.
On a lighter note, it was wonderful to see Andy's playful antics in this post. The photos made me smile and give blessings that he found such a great home with you and Geoff, and that he's also so good for the two of you.
Sending Love & Hugs,
Gail

Reply
Maria link
4/15/2015 12:28:02 am

Dear Gail,

It's wonderful to have you home again - although a certain reminder of how quickly time flies... :)

I agree it's not always my first instinct to 'rise above it' but I'm always so much better off when I do. Thanks for your meaningful and perceptive remarks and your beautiful friendship.

Love and hugs to you and Fred too, Maria

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    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

    I am a work in progress, so a rule of thumb is to expect the unexpected every week!

    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

    Thank you,

    mar  



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