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mar's Desk

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marcoujor: Self - Love or Selfish... ?

8/19/2015

28 Comments

 
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I attended a program last Tuesday that initially struck me as outside my comfort zone.  Because I was attending with three close friends, I decided to push ahead - get out of my head - and check it out.
 
The group was being held at Anahata Yoga and Wellness Center, in Harleysville, PA. 
 
I immediately felt a sense of peace and welcome when I entered the studio of Amiee Wright of loveamiee.com
 
She greeted my friends and me warmly and respectfully - inviting us to make ourselves comfortable in the circle with pillows, supportive cushions for our legs - even soft blankets if any of us got chilly.
 
Amiee asked us to select the seat we wanted.  On each seat was a 'name badge'.  Mine happened to say 'I am wise.'  Others said: 'I am joy'; 'I am radiant'; 'I am beautiful'; 'I am love'; 'I am grateful'; 'I am free'; 'I am peace'. She reinforced that we were all of these attributes as she began our discussion on the subject of Self - Love.
 
She also gave us her most empowering affirmation on a card that I now keep displayed on my writing desk:  "I am grateful for the courage to make permanent change in my life".


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After we all introduced ourselves to each other, Amiee encouraged us to look into ourselves and become more aware of how we handle this subject of loving, appreciating and nurturing ourselves.
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Every 2nd Tuesday  /  7-9 pm 

"We are actively creating the life we want or don’t want – each choice we make, each thought we hold onto, is an act of creation.  The life you long to live can be yours. ANYTHING is possible.  Anything can be.  And it all starts with LOVE.  You are invited to join the circle as we remind each other of who we really are, awakening our true potential through the restorative power of love." (Amiee Wright)
 
For the remainder of the time, Aimee worked with each of us individually.  She asked permission if she could stand behind us, touching us on the shoulders, head...and was understanding that not everyone in the group had the same level of comfort.
 
I'll share some of the intuitive feedback that I was given:
 
Aimee thanked me for attending and found me to be courageous in my willingness to try new things. She urged me to stick with 'self-love' - as I am the only one who can totally love myself. I was reminded that 'I am worth it' - that 'I do have love for myself'.  She acknowledged I was more comfortable choosing others over myself and reinforced that I have an opportunity to change history / shed old baggage.  I can do this with positive thoughts such as: "Today I am willing to love myself" - "Today I'm willing to forgive" - "I'm meant to live in freedom without excess baggage".  She ended by repeating several times: "You are amazing".    
 
As the class was ending, Amiee asked us to look at our badges, as there were 'stickers' on the back of two of them.  I was delighted that my badge was a 'winner'...!
 
I received a copy of: "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay - which is filled with loving affirmations and personal strategies.  Here is one example of an affirmation included in this book: 



"In the infinity of life where I am,
all is perfect, whole and complete.
Each one of us, myself included, experiences the richness
and fullness of life in ways that are meaningful to us.
I now look at the past with love and choose
to learn from my old experiences.
There is no right or wrong, nor good or bad.
The past is over and done.
There is only the experience of the moment.
I love myself for bringing myself
through this past into this present moment.
I share what and who I am,
for I know we are all one in Spirit.
All is well in my world."
(Louise Hay)

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I'm quite sure that all seven participants had different perspectives and life experiences coming into the group - yet I believe all of us left with a feeling that we were worthy of self-love.
 
Each month this autumn, Amiee will focus the energy on one theme, or quality of expressing Love.
 
September - Illusions   /  October - Intuition   /  November - Gratitude

My Reflections:

I'm so glad I pushed past initial doubts and attended Amiee's session. I derived much self-insight in the opportunity I had to meditate in silence - as mental clarity is essential for me to truly focus. 
 
I'm grateful I allowed myself to 'be in the present'. For me, I have a tendency to think about how the past could have worked out better or what tomorrow will bring.
 
I realized that I have no problem teaching my students the importance of self-care and empowerment. I stress that self-care is not selfish. Yet, this was an 'easier said than done' concept for me to apply to myself. 
 
I recognize our society attaches a negative judgment to a focus on self-love, self-care and self-acceptance. I believe that factors such as age, culture, religion, and our upbringing can affect these concepts.

As loving as mom was, she put absolutely everyone before herself - at all times. I am starting to resist this familial tendency, after over fifty years of practice in taking care of everyone else but me. 
 
I realize that my views will appear self-centered to some.  I'm perfectly alright with that, as everyone is entitled to their views. For me, there is no 'right or wrong' - simply a self-acknowledgement that I must love myself before I can love and care for others.
 
So I believe I have finally answered this question on my own behalf. Self - Love is NOT selfish. And I'm sticking with it - for the long haul...and thought this song might be in order:
 
Whitney Houston: The Greatest Love of All
Meanwhile, in the rest of Weeblyhood, please check out the following:

Catching Up With femmeflashpoint via marcoujor's musings

Picking and Choosing via WarnerWords

Small Town-Big Talent: Denise Rapp of the New-Harmony Gazette via flashPress

Until next week, be peaceful.

Hugs, mar
28 Comments
Kimmie
8/19/2015 12:19:09 am

Good morning friend. What a wonderful post to read. This workshop appears to have been such a wonderful gift...teaching and filling your heart with words of wisdom. I too struggle with over filling my plate in helping others and taking time for myself is hard. When I do a sense of guilt sneaks in filling my mind of things I could be doing but not for myself. Finding that place of peace and contentment is surely worth pursuing not to mention acceptance that it is okay to rest.
Thank you for sharing.
Love and hugs
Kimmie

Reply
Maria link
8/20/2015 12:41:57 am

Kim, You and I are two peas in a pod. Your comments could be my own~ I'm thinking we are better at caring for others when we remember we need our care as well.
Love and hugs to you, mar

Reply
Shauna
8/19/2015 03:42:24 am

Mar, you are on a path of discovery and acceptance of your self. It's a beautiful thing to see. So many people love and value you. I'm so proud that you are finally discovering the beauty of you, for it emanates from within.

I believe Aimee was destined to teach others to love themselves. Aimee is French for dearly loved, beloved. Quite appropriate, don't you think?

Peace to you my friend.

Love,
Sha

Reply
Maria link
8/20/2015 12:48:30 am

Thanks for this beautiful comment, Sha. I am happy with who I am ~ now finding joy in learning to care for her.
Wishing you peace and sending love, mar

Reply
Martie link
8/19/2015 06:50:09 am

Dear Mar, you are indeed wise. Attending these soul-enriching courses is just a proof how wise you are.

Come to think of it - we always need someone to inspire and encourage us. On our turn, we inspire and encourage others. The chain of love.

Loving one self is a full-time obligation, just like it is with loving others. We have to do it every day, Eventually it becomes a habit.

Thank you for sharing all the lessons you learn, dear Maria!

Sending you tuns of hugs,

Martie

Reply
Maria link
8/20/2015 12:52:50 am

Thanks, dear Martie. I love your description of the chain of love~ grateful for friends like you who inspire me in many ways.
Hugs to you as well, mar

Reply
Sannel link
8/19/2015 07:52:33 am

Thank you for sharing this inspiring post with us, dear Maria. By your words, I can feel this program was a most uplifting and giving experience to you. We all need a reminder that we should love ourselves first of all. I have a tendency to do more for others than for myself, if not, I feel guilty. Hmm. I think I need an Aimee in my life ;)
And yes, "you are truly amazing".
Take care, my beautiful friend!
Love and hugs,
Sannel

Reply
Maria link
8/20/2015 12:59:31 am

Dear Sannel,
Love the sharing in your remarks and can totally relate. I'm reminded we have the power in us to affirm our strengths and receive the supportive feedback of others.
So thank you and love you, Maria

Reply
Mike
8/19/2015 08:36:31 am

Hi Maria, I once attended a workshop like this (not). My first card said, "You are bald." But the other one said, "In life you will only make change."

OK I got my joke out of my system.

It sounds like you had a nice outing and your beliefs were affirmed. 'It is OK to like/love yourself."

Many people think you are amazing! (Just look at that line up.) We can't all be wrong.

Reply
Maria link
8/20/2015 01:04:39 am

Mike, You remind me that laughter is the best medicine. You are officially adorable...:)

Reply
Sunshine
8/19/2015 10:30:41 am

Good for you for stepping out of your comfort zone. You inspire me to possibly do the same. Hopefully soon. Like yesterday! :)

Reply
Maria link
8/20/2015 03:31:23 am

We inspire each other, dear Linda~ you are an amazing lady all on your own.
Love you, MM

Reply
Amiee link
8/19/2015 01:42:16 pm

Hello Maria,

Your blog post is lovely! I appreciate your thoughtfulness and all of the love. It was such a joy to have you join the circle and it thrills me that you won the book. :) The whole thing was just right.

Sending you lots of love and I hope to see you again very soon.

Love,
Amiee

Reply
Maria link
8/20/2015 03:36:06 am

Thanks for stopping by, Amiee~ so happy you're pleased with this post.
And we will see you again. Hugs, Maria

Reply
Gail Sobotkin
8/19/2015 04:38:11 pm

Dear Maria,
Much to digest in this beautiful article. I love the affirmation card and have read Louise Hay's book, plus many other books from the Hay House Company that Louise Hay started.
One of my favorite songs is Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All," yet I always feel a bit sad to think that she was never able to acheive the self-love that the song speaks of.
Am posting this article on FB so others can learn from the wisdom in it. Am also glad you are focusing on loving yourself as a way of growth and healing.
Sending Blessings and Love,
Gail

Reply
Maria link
8/20/2015 03:46:40 am

Dear Gail,
I'm not surprised you're familiar with Louise Hay's work. And Whitney's song is bittersweet to me as well.
Thanks for sharing, caring about and supporting me.
Love you and hugs, Maria

Reply
femmeflashpoint
8/20/2015 08:19:24 am

Prof. Mahreer,

It's a good reminder that sooner or later most of us have to incorporate some self-care to be effective at most things.

It's a good idea to be well-rested before handling sharp objects, especially if they're to be used on other people.

☺

femme

Reply
Maria link
8/20/2015 09:30:20 am

Thanks for the smiles and the reinforcement that self - care keeps us sharp - for me, my mind more than objects thankfully... :)

Have a peaceful day. Hugs, mar

Reply
Randi link
8/20/2015 11:37:54 am

Maria,
I'm so glad youenjoyed and came back to share your experience with us. As a "revolving work in progress" you make me feel like I can do it, too! Thank you for consistently lifting those of around you up!
Love <3

Reply
Maria link
8/21/2015 01:43:58 am

Dear Randi,
We are all 'works in progress' and you ARE doing it. I'm so grateful that we all inspire each other... :)
Love you too, Maria

Reply
Peg
8/21/2015 01:37:17 am

So glad you shared this experience with us, Mar. It is difficult to love ourselves at times and to value ourselves without feeling self indulgent. I think you're wise to depart from the habit of taking care of everyone else ALL the time. We each need some me time and to experience love for ourselves. In order to love others we must be able to love ourselves. It is often hard to do this. Thanks for the boost of courage in your message

Reply
Maria link
8/21/2015 01:48:00 am

Dear Peg,
Thanks for insightfully summarizing my intentions in this post.
If I gave you a 'smidge' of courage, I'm beyond pleased - as you are one of the bravest women I know already... :)
Love you and hugs, Maria

Reply
Nellieanna link
8/21/2015 01:58:54 pm

This is an awareness I gained some time back, virtually on my own, from difficult circumstances, To know oneself thoroughly, accept oneself, with all one's variables and realize oneself is valuable is a most freeing awareness. I applaud Aimee for helping people realize it and you for, perhaps, risking finding out about it.

Reply
Maria link
8/27/2015 07:57:41 am

Dear Nellieanna,
Thanks for your visit, support and wisdom. Sorry to just see this and hope all is well in your world.
Love and hugs, Maria


Reply
Vinaya Ghimire
8/30/2015 03:39:41 am

I wish I could attend a workshop like this. However, these days I am living in my farm and all I have around me is animals and plants. However, I still find time to look inside myself. Self love is discovering who you are.

Reply
Maria link
6/10/2017 06:58:34 am

Dear Vinaya,
I am ever so sorry that I'm just seeing this comment with Cynthia's latest visit.
Your farm sounds like the perfect setting for mindfulness and self care.
Hope all is well with you and your beautiful family.

Reply
Sageleaf link
6/8/2017 09:15:37 pm

This is my absolute favorite of the posts I've read so far. :) I love, love, love this! I am working on getting certified in mindfulness and I want to lead little workshops and seminars like this. It sounds so beautiful and it sounds like you got a lot out of it. We often do the most growing when we're out of our comfort zones. :) I've been sharing your posts, but this one I will share more than once! :)

Reply
Maria link
6/10/2017 07:01:20 am

Dear Cynthia,
I love that you love this post.
You would be wonderful in leading mindfulness sessions - I'm thrilled that you're pursuing certification.
Thanks for stopping by, causing smiles and for sharing too.
Love, Maria

Reply



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    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

    I am a work in progress, so a rule of thumb is to expect the unexpected every week!

    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

    Thank you,

    mar  



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