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  marcoujor's musings

mar's Desk

​This multi-topic blog publishes weekly on Wednesdays.
Thank you for the visit and please enjoy the reading.

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marcoujor: The Focus of Fall

10/4/2017

18 Comments

 
Picture
Autumn is officially here.

Autumn is a season I welcome with open arms. A season filled with new beginnings, changes and self-growth.  

Fall breezes bring me a sense of clarity and freedom, to be. Fallen leaves will begin to blanket Mother Earth in a glorious array of colors and warmth.

I am able to absorb energy from the sunshine, and joy from my loving Labradors, Andy and Zoey. They cannot get enough of rolling in the plant beds that Daddy has so artfully designed.

I think of my parents, their lessons and the memories that have shaped me into who I am today.​

Time to Rethink

Picture
Image via Alexas_Fotos of Pixabay. Click here to visit their gallery.
​I acknowledge that life experiences have improved my active listening skills. 

As both a nurse, an instructor and a writer, it’s my job to elicit the chief complaint; the educational needs or the story from my patients, students or characters.

​Back to my students…

​What about me as a person? This would be mar the wife, sister, aunt and friend.

I greatly admired my Mom’s ability to listen. So many, with me at the head of the line, found comfort in her active listening skills, which came from the heart without the unnecessary benefit of study.

I’ve learned along the way that most of us want/need support and validation from our loved ones, both family and friends. It seems that each of us finds our intimate circle of connections where we are free to be vulnerable.

My connections core knows who they are. I send my eternal gratitude to each of you for loving me as is.
​

​Working with/knowing others on a work team does not equal friendship

Picture
Image via Hans of Pixabay. Click here to visit his gallery.
A work environment that is warm, cooperative, respectful and positive is ideal for best practice and keeps the focus on the customer.

Blurring or crossing boundaries between coworkers and/or customers is a certain recipe for disaster.

A few of the ingredients for such a disaster include:

  • Oversharing of personal information that has nothing to do with the task at hand
  • Becoming heavily/over invested in another’s problem/issue
  • Taking another’s problem / issue ‘home’ with you. Everyone is entitled to personal space and time
  • Believing, even for a moment, that one has the ability to change someone else. We can teach, offer our best professional support, yet knowing the only behavior we can adjust is our own.

In no way am I suggesting that we behave in an unprofessional or uncivil manner towards others who attempt to cross personal boundaries.

I believe in most cases the situation can be nipped in the bud with initial support (perhaps a referral to someone who is equipped to advise in the matter) and, if necessary, a firm and polite reminder of our role/inability to directly assist.   
        
Thank you, dear readers, for allowing me to collect some general guidelines that I will be able to share with students along the way. Despite specific examples being different in circumstances and severity, it seems to boil down to knowing and adhering to your personal boundaries.​

ShoutOuts

☙ Afrikaans Idioms versus English equivalents - Letter A via Martie’s Foyer
☙ From Utter Despair to Practical Help via WarnerWords
☙ Daith Piercing for Migraine Relief (Right Ear) via flashPress

Until next week, wishing you peace,

mar ​
18 Comments
Peg Cole link
10/4/2017 11:31:44 am

Great insight into office politics. There have been many careers ruined by oversharing and friendships gone sour. I've been reminded many times that "there are no friends in business." The only business of a company is protecting the bottom line.
Loved the Nat King Cole tune. Perfect for the cooling days of fall.

Reply
Maria link
10/5/2017 06:14:20 am

Good insights, dear Peg - thanks for being the first to visit.

Glad you enjoyed a little Nat King Cole, as I did. Love you, Maria

Reply
Mike
10/4/2017 11:48:07 am

Hello Maria - Fall has taken hold here in California. Some gray skies and temperatures in the seventies, down from 100 plus during summer's final days.

Politics reach every level of our society. That keeps people apart on every level in our society separated.

Someone should teach a class on listening, it is a neglected art.

Reply
Maria link
10/5/2017 06:16:07 am

Glad the West coast has caught up a little with the East, dear Mike.

I agree that listening is a lost art. I learn so much more from listening than speaking.

Reply
Sannel link
10/4/2017 03:31:55 pm

Dear Maria,

I believe one of the best attributes we can have is being a good listener, just like your Mom was. It is, as Mike so profoundly pointed out, a neglected art nowadays. There are very few who listen to listen.
And yes everyone with experience knows that business and pleasure don't mix. A big no-no.
Thank you for a great read this Wednesday.
Sending my love and hugs from a beautiful fall day here in Sweden,

Sannel

Reply
Maria link
10/5/2017 06:18:33 am

Sadly, even some of us with experience can blur the boundary lines, dear Sannel.

Loving the idea of Fall allover the world...wishing you and Freddie a wonderful week. Lots of hugs too, Maria

Reply
Gail Sobotkin
10/4/2017 04:11:34 pm

Dear Maria,
Another post filled with wisdom. I agree with everything you wrote and the things mentioned in the comments section.
When I was still working I did make some good friends but was still cautious about what I chose to share with co-workers.
Blessings & Love,
Gail

Reply
Maria link
10/5/2017 06:35:31 am

We are so similar, dear Gail. Like you, I have made some lifetime friends through work with caution and good judgment.

Lovely to see you. Hugs to you and Fred, Maria

Reply
Martie link
10/4/2017 04:34:15 pm

"... Blurring or crossing boundaries between coworkers and/or customers is a certain recipe for disaster..."

Absolutely!

Thanks for reminding me again that less talking and more listening is the recipe for a successful relationship. Acceptance and respect is all we ask from our co-workers. Love is a bonus.

Take care, dear Mar!

Reply
Maria link
10/5/2017 06:36:50 am

We take turns reminding each other of life lessons, dear Martie.

Love you and sending a bushel of hugs to SA, mar

Reply
Sageleaf link
10/4/2017 09:42:51 pm

I'm listening to Nat King Cole's video up there while I type this. Ah, I just love the sound of his voice.:)
Time to Rethink. I love the title of that section.
Listening is a rare skill today, I think. Not because we DON'T listen, but we so often listen to reply, instead of listening deeply to one another.
As for the work advice: this is sound advice. I personally don't like to take personal calls or deal with personal issues at all at work. I do my best to set them aside. Now, I'm taking a class about racial issues in the US and last evening was a tough class about white privilege. All day on campus today, folks were talking about that and their backgrounds and family history that leads up to now. This is an example, as you said, where it was relevant to the issues we face as a community. But...in normal conversation, we're pleasant, we're a team and we try to be positive. I am truly grateful. :)
Sending you hugs and wishes for a fantastic week! xox

Reply
Maria link
10/5/2017 06:39:39 am

Dear Cynthia,

I see a college campus as a microcosm of society - your example was beautiful in how our world could be.

Also happy Nat King Cole's music appealed to you.

Love, peace and hugs, Maria

Reply
Rolly A. Chabot link
10/6/2017 08:30:48 am

Hi Mar...

As always an enlightening read and admiration for the colours you have surrounding you.
I cannot help but wonder if social media has trained our minds to only pay attention to what is important to us only. Have we lost the ability to listen all together.
Some great advise here Mar, those young people you are teaching have the advantage of listening to your practical and very relevant words of wisdom.

Hugs from Alberta

Reply
Maria link
10/12/2017 06:13:47 am

Excellent point about social media, dear Rolly.

I love working with my students and the learning is quite reciprocal.

Hugs to you too and love to Angel, Maria

Reply
Paula
10/11/2017 02:29:30 pm

Maria, my friend... I have SO much to say on this matter, believe me, I'd write forever! I believe I'll save this discussion for you & I to have face to face ...on that special day when I finally make my way to your neck of the woods & knock-knock on your door! (I'm determined for this to happen!!)
In the meantime, I want to thank you for being so generous with your wisdom and advice. I'm always ready to absorb your lessons. Listening to the soothing, hypnotic sound of the Great Nat King Cole....what a magical voice. LOVE this song,....LOVE Autumn.....Love my pal, Maria! Paula

Reply
Maria link
10/12/2017 06:12:02 am

I'm also looking forward to the day when we can gab face to face for hours on end, dear Paula - I'm determined as well, btw!

Thanks for taking the time to visit and enjoy my writing - that means the world.

Love you too and have a peaceful day, Maria

Reply
crazyhorseladycx
10/26/2017 11:47:29 pm

howdy, ms. mar!

late to the party's usual here :) i'm so glad that'cha embrace this new season. i confess that autumn/winter 'd be my least 2 fav's outta the 4. this time 'f year saddens me 's i watch the landscape turn brown, trees stand naked where's they once were full 'f an abundance 'f life.

i hear ya'n those boundaries. used to call the business office where i worked the 'snake pit' 'n fer good reason. way too much info bein' passed 'round unnecessarily. not only could i here such, but our patients 'n their families got the 'scoop', too. pitiful such 'twas allowed to grown 'n fester...

sendin' chilly 'n windblown hugs 'n love ~

Reply
Maria link
11/2/2017 06:25:48 am

Thanks for your visit and wise insights, dear Lady.

You are never late and always appreciated.

Love you and big hugs too, mar

Reply



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    Marcoujor

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