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mar's Desk

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Marcoujor: The Power of Feedback

8/12/2015

18 Comments

 
Picturemarcoujor
I got the following e-mail this week from a student I had taught a few years ago. It was a positive boost, don't get me wrong - great when someone acknowledges you for a role you have played in their achievement.
 
However, I was struck more by the power in my feedback to this student. I'll start with the e-mail:      

Hi Maria,

I just wanted to let you know that I have finished the program and am now a BSN certified nurse!! Thank you so much for your guidance, wisdom, and example as a nurse, teacher and person of excellence.


God really used you in my life to overcome and get through a valley I had been in for a long time. It was the tool of journaling that has really rekindled my passion for God and my life.

So thank you so much. I wish you well in all that you do and hope that we will meet again.


I also covet your prayers as the job of nurse manager is open again on my unit.

Will she or will she not...we soon will know.

Thanks again, and God bless you real good!! You are a mighty woman!



Picture
When I met "Sally", she was engaging and totally committed to her education - a joy to have in the classroom. With gorgeous steel gray hair, I judged Sally to be in her early sixties. Her peers wanted to be in her group, as she was a natural leader. Yet, I noted an insecurity around Sally's written work.  In fact, she apologized as she turned in her first paper.

I emphasize that every instructor is different and I start with a clean slate.  Reading Sally's work was indeed a breath of fresh air - creative, passionate and totally heart-centered from her years of experience as a nurse.

This is the feedback I gave Sally - I told her that her writing touched my heart and that she should think of publishing after graduation.
 
Sally absorbed my initial feedback and thrived. Her journal reflections were profoundly inspiring. Her written assignments were professional, in a captivating and well-developed style.
 
I received a two- paged typed thank you attached to her final paper explaining her initial apology.  Sally had loved to write as a young girl, everything from poetry to prose.  She enrolled in a summer camp as a teenager, when a counselor gave her cruel feedback - essentially, ''you need to put down your pen and never pick it up again.''

She was understandably devastated and did just that - writing assignments and never feeling good enough - until my feedback over 40 years later.

Picture
Working with and knowing Sally is a privilege.  To have had a role in helping her recognize her natural gifts and strengths gives meaning and purpose to my 'work'. This incredible woman reminds me how important it is to continue giving honest, constructive feedback in my role - that it indeed matters.
 
Do you have the power and privilege to give honest and sincere feedback?  I look for opportunities with those I encounter in the service business - even better if I can locate their manager to give feedback on performance that is really exceptional. And yes, I complete written surveys every chance I have and thoroughly appreciate my student evaluations as an opportunity for growth and improvement.
 
If this is outside your comfort zone, give it a whirl. You may find it quite satisfying. 
 
You may also find these posts in the Weeblyhood of interest:

  • Healthy Decadence: Boston Brown Bread via WarnerWords

  • Indie Biz: I wish you had a tip jar! via flashPress


Until next week, wishing you peace, mar


18 Comments
Shauna
8/12/2015 04:16:08 am

Mar, I recognize the importance of feedback. I've contacted managers of people I've worked with letting them know how pleasant, valuable, knowledgeable, etc. the person was. Too often we only hear negative feedback, which does nothing for morale or improvement; it can be devastating.

It was in the stars that you and "Sally" crossed paths. You both benefited from knowing each other. Sally now has a positive outlook on her passions for nursing and writing. And all it took was a few encouraging words. How awesome is that?

Reply
Maria link
8/13/2015 03:51:16 am

I'm not surprised that you give important feedback as warranted, dear Sha.

And yes, it's pretty awesome! Hope you're having a lovely week.
Love and hugs, mar

Reply
Angie
8/12/2015 04:31:16 am

Hi, Maria - this is so heartwarming to read. Just that bit of encouragement from you was enough to undo the amount of pain that this lady had been carrying for all of those years in that area. It's also eye-opening to note that it was one comment as well that caused that much pain for a very long time.

This is a great reminder to be careful with one's words...thank you...

~Angie

Reply
Maria link
8/13/2015 03:53:16 am

Wonderful to see you, Angie...and yes, our words are ever so important.

Hope all is well in your world. Hugs, Maria

Reply
Mike
8/12/2015 07:56:07 am

So many people respond so well to kinds words. Like an elixir for the wounded spirit. Your teaching style makes you remembered and appreciated by all your students.

This is another great addition to the mar's desk chronicles.

Reply
Maria link
8/13/2015 03:55:05 am

"Like an elixir for the wounded spirit"...spoken like a true writer, dear Mike. Thanks for your kind words and visit.

Reply
Vicki link
8/12/2015 08:02:33 am

Dear Maria,
I doubt there's anyone that would disagree with you on this. Kind, positive feedback is mandatory as part of being a good instructor. Actually kind approaches and words are treasured by those who get them every day - something to remember.
Kindness opens doors. Impatience and shortness slams them shut.
Hugs to you

Reply
Maria link
8/13/2015 03:58:26 am

Dear Vicki,
You speak like the 'excellent instructor' you have been through the years. Your feedback is wise and means a lot to me.
Hope you had a beautiful day yesterday and a peaceful one today.
Love and hugs to you too!

Reply
Martie link
8/12/2015 12:01:51 pm

Dearest Maria, it is indeed always great when someone acknowledges you for a role you have played in their achievement. You deserve many of these notes, as you are most certainly able to recognize and acknowledge the hidden talents of the people you meet. You are indeed a person of excellence.

I hope Sally achieve all the goals she has set for herself.

Hugs from South Africa,

Martie

Reply
Maria link
8/13/2015 04:00:23 am

Your words are like a hug to me, my South African Sista.
Thanks for your visit and for being you.
Love and hugs from PA, mar

Reply
Ruby link
8/13/2015 04:30:32 am

I am not surprised that you received an email from Sally. It is only natural for anyone to give praise to those who helped along the way. I could relate with her concerning her critique on writing. When I first started to write poetry I was told my rhyming was not good, but there were others who cheered me on and that was enough to keep trying. I imagine you will receive many emails from other students you've encouraged through the years. This is a reminder to be kind with our word's. We never know how much they can cut or lift someone up. Lots of hugs my friend.

Reply
Maria link
8/15/2015 11:42:48 pm

Thanks for totally understanding this post, dear Ruby.

And I am happy you listened to your supportive cheerleaders over one negative critique. You have a nurse's heart with a scribe's hand.

Love you and hugs too, mar

Reply
femmeflashpoint link
8/14/2015 02:15:38 pm

Dear Prof. Mahreer,

I'm lovin' this post!

Sometimes the best medicine is in a good story and for a nurse to have a passion for writing is getting both a cherry AND icing on the cake!

I'm so happy your silver-haired student has found some fresh inspiration and lended courage to grow and develop her writing with and I'm not at all surprised she found it through you.

femme

Reply
Maria link
8/15/2015 11:39:29 pm

Dear Ange,

How I love this comment...so true. As my momma would say: "I'm having my cake and eating it too..."

I am blown away by some of the assignments I get (a GOOD thang) and will always encourage these nurses to continue this obvious passion after their 'educational requirements'. Sally is one of these nurses for sure.

I'm heading to a cool new interview that was just published on Inspiration Station - you might want to check it out... :)

Reply
Mary link
8/15/2015 03:16:17 am

Irish Diplomacy says it is, "The art of telling someone to go to hell, and having them look forward to the trip."
While this isn't quite in line with what you are saying, it does point out that people respond to kindness and consideration no matter what you are saying to them.
You dear friend have mastered that art and your guidance and suggestions are taken to heart because of the way you deliver them!
This blog is a perfect examplel!

Reply
Maria link
8/15/2015 11:34:06 pm

LOL, Mary your comment struck my funny bone.
When I was a boss, folks would leave my office not sure if they had been 'reprimanded'. Although it wasn't a favorite part of my job, sometimes negative feedback has to be delivered.
I was taught to:' be hard on the issue and not the person'. This sage counsel has served me well.
Thanks for your awesome comment.

Reply
Vinaya Ghimire
8/30/2015 03:31:19 am

It must be a great experience. Sadly, the man who invoked the writer in me is dead.

Reply
Maria link
9/1/2015 12:51:22 am

Your mentor lives on in your writing, Vinaya. Your visit is appreciated.

Reply



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    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

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    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

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    mar  

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