mar's Desk

marcoujor: The Steps of Healing

9/12/2016

When missing Mom...

Out of the blue this past weekend, I started thinking about Mom more than usual and missing her wise and grounding presence in my life. I know this is normal. I have learned to welcome these times and actually sit with them.

In May, 2010, I lost my best pal when Mom died suddenly--thankfully, with no pain.

I turn to music often. It reaches deep into my heart, oftentimes reminding me of people, places and times in my life. This weekend I pulled out my Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash CDs. I was transported to my childhood, where many an evening was spent listening to country and western tunes...

The Man in Black was first crooned by Johnny in 1971. I was ten years old. Listening to this song, I am forever struck by the lyrics--truly timeless. Mom loved this and forty years later, it's my favorite as well.

Dolly Parton released this song in 1974, I Will Always Love You. I merely loved this tune as a child. As an adult, I understand its meaning and believe this is her best song ever.

Click the image to get it from amazon.com

I also reached for my Kindle copy of Vicki Warner's book called, Healing Steps: A Workbook for Dealing with Loss for a boost of inspiration and support. Vicki first published her workbook in 2013. I was honored when she asked me to write the foreword.

Personally, Vicki's book and her presence in my life have been gifts in my healing process with both Mom's death and my sister-in-law, who left us way too soon in the Spring of 2013. Since then, I've gifted several copies to loved ones experiencing their own losses.

Although Mom never knew Vicki, these women were cut from the same cloth. Vicki is aware of how much she reminds me of Mom. I can expect an email, even a phone call, if Vicki suspects I'm 'off' about something. Like Mom, she is eerily and always correct.

As Vicki has just revised her workbook in August, I thought it'd be a great time to raise awareness of this amazing resource.

This book provides ways of assisting you in gently taking care of yourself while feeling the pain and loneliness of grief. You will be reminded that there is no distinct course of action and time-frame for healing. You will realize that your changeable energy and emotions are understandable, even normal.

There is also a new companion Calendar- Journal to Vicki's workbook. It’s free, downloadable and available in the WarnerWords Books & Gifts Shoppe.

As the holidays approach, I can think of no better gift than support and hope, which this book provides, along with the reminder that you are never alone in your feelings.

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☙PayPal vs. Gift Cards via flashPress

Until next week, wishing you peace and love,

mar

20 Comments

Martie link

9/14/2016 09:55:08 am

I'm so glad Vicki now also have her book in e-format. I remember after my father's passing I desperately needed a workbook like this. Good luck with the sales, Vicki. I'm going to add a link in my shop.

Mar, the videos brought back many memories. Johnny's unique voice was often heard in my parent's house, and later also in mine. Many of his songs became golden oldies. Not to talk about Dolly Parton's.

I'm sending lots of hugs to you and Vicki ♡♡

Maria link

9/14/2016 07:27:25 pm

Thanks for your visit, dear Martie.

It's fascinating to think we both listen(ed) to the same music - as we live so many miles apart and yet are so close in every other way.

I know Vicki will appreciate you linking her book to your shop.

Love you and have a peaceful week. Hugs, mar

Mike

9/14/2016 10:14:29 am

Hi Maria - another excellent marcoujor's musings. Happy Wednesday.

Maria link

9/14/2016 07:23:49 pm

Thanks, dear Mike and Happy Wednesday to you too...!

Shauna

9/14/2016 11:38:41 am

Mar, music has a way of allowing our emotions to run in every direction until we reach the calm after the storm. I'm so glad you know how to channel your feelings and let them run their course.

I hope you're feeling better. Know you're never alone.

Maria link

9/14/2016 07:29:26 pm

What a wise and comforting comment, dear Sha. I am just fine - largely because I do know I'm never alone.

Love you and have a great week, mar

Vicki link

9/14/2016 11:55:12 am

Dear Mareer,

Wow! Thanks for your kind intro to the updated grief recovery book. I was just talking to someone yesterday who said her inclination after her recent loss was to just stay in bed. I had gifted her a book plus the calendar, and she said it's like a blueprint for keeping her on track with her recovery. That's a heartwarming thing to know.
Thank you for your part in the update!
I'm glad we stay in touch!
Love and hugs,
Vickster

Maria link

9/14/2016 07:33:12 pm

What wonderful feedback to get about this book of healing, dear Vickster - just lovely.

I'm proud to share your work - thanks for your presence in my world. Love you, mareer

Paula link

9/15/2016 09:16:54 am

Maria....Hello dear friend, I miss seeing you often. As usual, here you are being your sweet, thoughtful, generous self. I agree with you that our Vicky is a very wise & gracious lady.....How lucky I am to have met you both! I'm proud of all my friends who have shared their heart & soul in published works. Your contributions leave fascinating impressions on all your readers. Love & hugs~~Here comes Autumn! Paula/Effer

Maria link

9/16/2016 05:26:23 am

Thanks for always finding me here, dear Paula.

Love you, your friendship and Fall, right around the corner, Maria!

Sannel link

9/15/2016 03:45:00 pm

Dear Maria,
I sure wish that I had a a grief recovering workbook like this when I lost my Mom to ALS and then later my father. It would have been such a wonderful help. So when I received this book after my beloved pet,dear friend and my baby, Max passed away, it was a great comfort to turn to this book, at a time when my grief was as big as the hole in my heart. Thank you so much, Vicki!

Just like Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy once said; It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”

Thank you, dear Vicki for a wonderful, compassionate, well-written book. A book to be shared to help many others in grief.
Thank you, Maria for a wonderful post, along with the great music by my favorite, Dolly Parton, as well as Johnny Cash.
Take good care of yourself.
My love and hugs,
Sannel

Maria link

9/16/2016 05:29:53 am

Dear Sannel,
Thanks for your insightful remarks. I also agree that our minds allow us to move on while never forgetting the impact and presence of our beloved family, friends and pets who have moved on.
Love you and thanks for your visit, Maria

Ruby link

9/15/2016 07:36:36 pm

Hi Mar, it must be wonderful to have a friend that's so much like your mother. I've read parts of her book and it is comforting when dealing with a loss. Best wishes...
Love and hugs,
Ruby

Maria link

9/16/2016 05:31:36 am

I agree, dear Ruby -- Vicki is wonderful.
I'm so happy you have a copy of this wonderful book as well.
Love and hugs to you too, mar

Theresa

9/15/2016 07:37:07 pm

Dear Maria,

I lost my dear Mother right at Christmas in 2014, as you know. I had one of those days the other day too, but mine was more of regret not being right there for her all the time when she may have needed me being I lived in another state.

We all grieve differently and I, too, do love all genres of music, including Johnny and Dolly, who we listened to growing up.

Vicki's book sounds wonderful.

I do realize just how blessed in this life I've been to have had the mother I had in this life.

Love and hugs,

Theresa

Maria link

9/16/2016 05:24:43 am

Dear Theresa,
I know we share much in common with the love of our Mommas and good ole classic country and western music.
Love you and your sweet heart, Maria

femmeflashpoint link

9/28/2016 12:58:05 pm

Autumn brings on the same sort of nostalgia for me and I remember my own that losing my family brought on. I think it's wonderful that Vicki's book includes a downloadable journal. Not only does it provide a way to help with the struggle of grief but later, it can be a wonderful record to share with others who endure losses of their own.

I've found strength myself to get through grief with such things and hope the readers of Vicki's book will take advantage of the opportunity to engage in it to assist in their own recovery as well as for others they may want to share it with in the future.

Maria link

9/28/2016 04:33:19 pm

Well said, dear femme - thanks for such a meaningful and insightful comment. I couldn't agree with you more.

Love and hugs to you, mar

crazyhorseladycx

10/8/2016 05:34:11 pm

Howdy, Ms. Mar ~

I can empathize with ya, hon. Those losses cut deeply 'n sometimes we need a bit 'f help to struggle our way through. I lost my Dad, then my Mamaw not e'en 3 weeks later. 'Twas a diff'cult time that I'd the need to muddle through by myself. This book would'a sure come'n handy durin' that time.

I also listen to the 'oldies' - Marty Robbins 'n Merle Haggard bein' my Dads fav's, Charlie Pride bein' Mamaws. I inherited all 'f Mamaw's cd's 'n 't times'll listen to 'em all day long.

big hugs 'n love comin' at'cha!

Maria link

10/10/2016 08:15:39 am

Dear Lady,

I'm ever so sorry for two such significant losses in the space of such a short time.

So cool that we heard plenty of Marty Robbins, Merle Haggard and Charlie Pride songs playing in our home as well...

Your hugs are appreciated and so are you. Love and hugs, mar

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