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  marcoujor's musings

mar's Desk

​This multi-topic blog publishes weekly on Wednesdays.
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marcoujor: The Steps of Healing

5/9/2018

16 Comments

 
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I've decided to resurrect some 'oldies but goodies' as I re-publish some favorite posts from up to four years ago for the next forSEEable future...

​As I contemplated my life balance over the next couple months, I reminded myself that a repeat / rerun does not have to be a bad thing. In fact, I am usually able to gain new insights from reading something a second time.

​I also appreciate how my reading audience has grown. As such, this timeless post may be brand new to you.

Thanks for reading, sharing and understanding if my replies to your wonderful comments are delayed a bit and on the brief side.

When missing Mom...

This past weekend, I started thinking about Mom more than usual and missing her wise and grounding presence in my life. I know this is normal.  I have learned to welcome these times and actually sit with them.
 
In May, 2010, I lost my best pal when Mom died suddenly--thankfully, with no pain.

I turn to music often.  It reaches deep into my heart, oftentimes reminding me of people, places and times in my life. This weekend I pulled out my Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash CDs. I was transported to my childhood, where many an evening was spent listening to country and western tunes...
​The Man in Black was first crooned by Johnny in 1971 - I was ten years old. Listening to this song, I am forever struck by the lyrics--truly timeless. Mom loved this and forty years later, it's my favorite as well.
​Dolly Parton released this song in 1974, I Will Always Love You. I merely loved this tune as a child. As an adult, I understand its meaning and believe this is her best song ever.
​I also reached for my Kindle copy of Vicki Warner's (of WarnerWords) book called, Healing Steps: A Workbook for Dealing with Loss, for a boost of inspiration and support. Vicki first published her workbook in 2013. I was honored when she asked me to write the foreword.

Personally, Vicki's book and her presence in my life have been gifts in my healing process with both Mom's death and  my sister-in-law, who left us way too soon in the Spring of 2013. Since then, I've gifted several copies to loved ones experiencing their own losses.

Although Mom never knew Vicki, these women were cut from the same cloth. Vicki is aware of how much she reminds me of Mom. I can expect an email, even a phone call, if Vicki suspects I'm 'off' about something. Like Mom, she is eerily and always correct.

I think this is a great time to raise awareness of this amazing resource. 
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Click HERE to get it from amazon
​This book provides ways of assisting you in gently taking care of yourself while feeling the pain and loneliness of grief. You will be reminded that there is no distinct course of action and time-frame for healing. You will realize that your changeable energy and emotions are understandable, even normal. 

There is also a companion Calendar-Journal that can go with Vicki's workbook. It’s free, downloadable and available in the WarnerWords Books & Gifts Shoppe.

​
I can think of no better gift than support and hope. This book provides both, along with the reminder that you are never alone in your feelings.

ShoutOuts

☙ Two Buckets of Energy: Happiness and Unhappiness via Martie’s Foyer
☙ Are You Squashing Your Garden? Via WarnerWords
☙ #OrganicAlternatives: Tasty twists on Pond Water tea via flashPress

Between now and next edition, be good to yourself...

​mar
16 Comments
Verlie Burroughs
5/9/2018 08:12:12 am

Thank you mar, I lost my Mom in 2010 too, and Mother's day is indeed a bittersweet time.

Reply
Maria link
5/9/2018 08:05:58 pm

Ah Verlie, I am sending you love and support through these days as well.

Love you very much, mar

Reply
Peg Cole link
5/9/2018 09:37:14 am

Indeed, for several reasons Mother's day is a difficult time full of good and difficult memories. This will by my first Mother's day without my (our) mother who fell ill this time last year. It was also the week that my friend Paula went into the hospital and received devastating news. There is a bright spot on the horizon since we still have Jim's mom and she has started communicating with him regularly over the past year. We are also blessed to have my step-mother who is lovely in every way and remains independent at 92 years of age. This post reminds me to call her and tell her I love her.
Thanks for this great post of music and sweet memories of loved ones. Love Johnny and Dolly with their beautiful words.
Vicki's book is of great comfort and her words of wisdom are deeply meaningful.
Hugs and love, Peg

Reply
Maria link
5/9/2018 08:10:14 pm

Dear Peg,

My love and thoughts are with you as well through this month.

I'm so pleased that you have / will call your stepmom. How wonderful about 'J' reconnecting with his mom as well - that makes my heart smile.

Love you and big hugs, Maria

Reply
Mike
5/9/2018 10:03:08 am

Happy Mother's Day to all those present and departed for all that you have done. Hello mar - it has been a long time since i listened to Johnny Cash.

Reply
Maria link
5/9/2018 08:12:04 pm

There's always time for Johnny Cash, dear Mike.

Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to listen.

Reply
Angelia S. Phillips link
5/9/2018 11:00:18 am

Prof. Mahreer,

An perfect and thoughtful choice for this time of year.

Mother's Day isn't something I look forward to celebrating with others, but prefer to spend it celebrating on my own, being grateful for the women in my life who have stepped in to be both friend, elder and mother when I was in need of such. :)

Reply
Maria link
5/9/2018 08:14:03 pm

I love the way you celebrate Mother's Day, dear Ange - sounds very meaningful.

Hope you are feeling much better. Love ya, mar

Reply
Rich Rumple link
5/9/2018 02:07:53 pm

Losing a love one is one of the toughest things a person will ever experience. The Fall of my thirteenth year was brutal. First, my mother passed away. She had been my entire life and the emptiness that followed was almost impossible to cast off. A month later, I watched in shock as my best friend was killed by a car traveling over 60 mph. I can still see his body being thrust upon the hood and then flipped under the car as it came to a stop. I ran to him, his body under the car but his head showing from behind the passenger side front tire, and saw the blood coming from his ear. I knew then that he wasn't going to make it. Six months later, my dad remarried and brought two new kids into the house. In a period of less than eight months, my whole world had changed. Yet, I pushed forward knowing that I couldn't give up. Grief can be a monster, yet, all monsters have a weak spot. I continued as I had, working to make people laugh and forget their troubles. In doing so, I learned that the woes can never be forgotten. But, they can be put off to the side where they can be visited from time to time, but not allowed to control one's life. Yes, there is life after death, some believe for both parties, others only recognize it there for the living. There is always a smile awaiting one that is looking for one and comfort to be shared between those that care. Sometimes, one just has to get their head out of the muck to see it. Luv ya, Sis!

Reply
Maria link
5/9/2018 08:27:25 pm

Dear Rich,
This comment takes my breath away. My heart cries for what you experienced at such a young age.
I love your resiliency and life philosophy - you are inspirational, along with being insanely funny.
Big hugs and thanks for sharing this with us, your Sis

Reply
Vicki link
5/9/2018 05:12:45 pm

Dear Mareer,

i often wish we lived closer, but in the meantime, its great that we have technology to help keep us connected. strange how these close relationships grow on the internet!

it is wonderful to know that I've helped you. Thank you so much for the big shoutout.

We never forget the loved ones we grieve over. Time dulls the pain, but anniversaries bring back memories, both good and not so much.

Glad you feel Ms Sammie and I have so much in common. You are right in the center.

love and hugs,
Vickster

Reply
Maria link
5/9/2018 08:32:26 pm

Thanks for virtually being 'by my side' over these last weeks, all while you were having medical issues of your own, dear Vickster.

"You are right in the center" - what an absolutely beautiful thought.

Love you lots dear CM, mareer

Reply
Cynthia link
5/10/2018 07:46:08 am

Sweet Mar. Oh what a date this is. I hope that you know that you are loved, you are incredible, and I know that your mama was so proud of who you have become. ❤️ To that end, I love your musical selections. You definitely have a penchant for great music and lovely tunes. It is said that music can elevate the soul and lift us into higher consciousness. So sing on, my friend. May you find comfort and love as you move through this anniversary date. And when it gets tough, just listen to those heartfelt songs. Sending you big hugs🤗🤗🤗

Reply
Maria link
5/16/2018 07:34:33 am

Thank you for the love and compassion you so freely share, dear Cynthia.

Love you and big hugs, Maria

Reply
Martie link
5/10/2018 06:18:33 pm

Dearest Mar

When we find ourselves frozen with unfulfilled longing for our beloveds in heaven, our memories become our crutches. Yours are perfect and beautiful.

I remember a time when Country music was my favorite. It intensified my longing for everything and all, and still do.

I'm sending tons of hugs,

Martie

Reply
Maria link
5/16/2018 07:37:03 am

Dear Martie,

Thanks for stopping by with all you juggle.

Yes, country music tend to be my 'go to' when I'm feeling nostalgic remembering Mom and others who are not here with me.

Love you lots, mar

Reply



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    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

    I am a work in progress, so a rule of thumb is to expect the unexpected every week!

    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

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    mar  



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  • Home
  • BOOK SHOP
    • Kylie's Stories
    • Other books by Maria Jordan >
      • Mysterious & Miraculous Book I - News and Reviews
  • BLOGS
    • mar's Desk
    • Inspiration Station
    • Poetic Ponderings
    • marcoujor on Hubpages
  • I Recommend...
  • Contact Me