![]() What Matters I have given some thought to What Matters...?... based on the quote by Jonathan Kozol, "Pick battles big enough to matter and small enough to win." Sleep On It I don't know about you, but each day is a complete and different surprise for me, at least in some small way. Waking up with the best of intentions, any number of both positive and negative factors can influence the outcome of your day. I remember Mom who was ever wise. There are many phrases and sayings in my toolbox of life skills that are straight out of her mouth. The following are a few of the many expressions I learned from Miss Sammie:
To me, everyone has priorities. In my professional experience as a nurse, I have seen a wide range of judgment, wisdom and insight where these priorities are concerned.I may not assume that what matters to me, actually matters to someone else. I am getting better at asserting that what matters to someone else, does not have to become my pressing cause or priority. Ahhh, the back burner again... now we're cooking, Miss Sammie! Let It Go Through years of deep soul searching and honest acknowledgement of my feelings, I realize that self - forgiveness is within our power.Whether an action is deliberate or accidental, I do not wish to be burdened with the job of registering wrongs. I believe what matters is moving on from the past and making things as right as you can. I am grateful that I do not have to be the judge in any situation, unless it has to do with me or my personal actions. I worked with a manager who taught me that ... communication, at best, is difficult.There can be misunderstandings with the best of intentions. Therefore, in daily interactions with those I care about, work with or even casually encounter, a prompt, honest and direct approach works best for me. When Tomorrow Comes None of us knows what tomorrow will bring. Although I try to be organized to a fault, I know I cannot plan the timing or nature of my death.So much of life is a crap shoot. Despite having a deep faith and base of spitituality, I recognize that very little of life is truly within our control.So why would death be any different...? Death is a part of life. None of us tend to imagine in our childhood years: "One day (maybe now), I will have cancer, heart disease or be a fatality in a criminal act."Mom had a way of being both cut and dry and comfortingly tender about life and death issues. Some of her expressions that I think of to this day are:
In our family, this maternal attitude translated to stepping up when family and friends need us. An individual approach is needed for everyone. Some welcome closeness in illness, deriving support from frequent visits. Still others prefer privacy, especially during times of serious illness.I have learned that what matters is respecting the wishes of those you love. I prefer to say my goodbyes on my terms. When you treat every conversation as though it may be your last, it is so much easier to 'keep your house in order' and settle petty misunderstandings promptly. And when things are out of your control, take as much control as you can, even if it is by planting/sending a tree, bush or flower in honor of someone you love. Pick the Hill You Die On In the tapestry of my professional nursing career, I was blessed to have worked with a compassionate, rational and wise Labor Relations Coordinator for about four years. In my role as a Nursing Administrator, we sat together at many a Union negotiation table, for many an issue. Ralph had a way of making these potentially volatile meetings tolerable. In fact, with our combined personalities, we were able to cut much tension with a relaxed and respectful atmosphere. What made Ralph so wise was the application of his life philosophy throughout his work ethic. I continue to utilize two of his kernels of wisdom throughout most every decision / action in my life:
If any person helped me decide what truly matters, besides my Momma, I would give this distinction to Ralph. This song helps me keep perspective on what really matters, Johnny Cash’s The Gambler Please take the time to check out the latest in Weeblyhood:
Thank you for visiting and until next time, peace... Mar
32 Comments
Helena
10/14/2015 10:20:43 am
wow what a wonderful article you have composed and published. You surely are one special lady who I am so glad to know.
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Gail Sobotkin
10/14/2015 11:48:07 am
Dear Maria,
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It truly is vital to us, our happiness, health, success and peace of mind, to be certain we know "what matters." Like you, dear friend Maria, I learned so very much from observing and listening to my mother and father. As my sister and I matured, their words and philosophies became more and more important.
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10/14/2015 07:53:12 pm
Dear Paula,
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Mike
10/14/2015 01:42:43 pm
Hello mar. You learned so much at your Mother's knee. It has served you well, as you face all challenges with shoulders squared and a smile. Nice to know that much of the homespun philosophy from the prior generation is filtered down to us and by us to the next generation.
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10/14/2015 01:47:49 pm
Dear Maria,
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Dear Maria, this is a very profound, thought-provoking and inspiring post about what really matters. You have said so much that I'm not able to summarize the essence in a single sentence. This post belongs in a 'Thought for the day' anthology by Maria Jordan.
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Sunshine
10/14/2015 06:29:42 pm
I am listening to Johnny Cash right now. Awesome song to accompany your thoughts! I think I like Kenny Roger's version better though...that's a secret :) I so appreciate your words for today. I stumbled upon Cap's high school yearbook today, I looked at this photo and I did think...that kid at that time had no idea what laid ahead of him (I know, none of us did, but just sayin' those were my thoughts today) and then I read your blog :)
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Dear Sunshine,
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Sunshine
10/14/2015 08:48:56 pm
Your mom sure had great taste in music! :) You have great taste in books! :)
femmeflashpoint
10/15/2015 08:19:27 pm
Prof. Mahreer,
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Kimmie
10/16/2015 03:38:30 pm
Hi Mar
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Vicki
10/17/2015 07:18:54 am
Dear Maria,
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Angie Mobley
10/18/2015 09:42:25 am
Hi, Maria -
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Shauna
10/18/2015 04:11:36 pm
Mar, I grew up with your mom's words of wisdom. It seems moms who truly care have learned those lessons and love their offspring enough to pass on those words in order to spare them the trials that brought the words to life.
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Theresa
10/18/2015 11:44:50 pm
Dear Maria, wow, my precious Momma shared these same words of wisdom. It seems it takes a lot of living to finally come to a point in our life when we truly understand what matters most. You are the keeper of good and wise words, so I know I can count on you to pull them from your memory and share. I will be mindful to look at each conversation as if it my last with the particular person for it may very well be ... Peace and blessings always, Theresa
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Maria, your Mom & mine must've gone to the same school. How wonderful and wise their outlook was.
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