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mar's Desk

​This multi-topic blog publishes weekly on Wednesdays.
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My Anniversary Gift

9/19/2018

44 Comments

 
Picture
Geoff has given me permission to announce his “31st wedding anniversary” gift to me for all our family, friends and my readers to see.

I’ve chosen to write him a letter here, that you are all invited to read as well.

I am hoping Miss Sammie (as Geoff lovingly called Mom) and Dr. Gulderen Bora (our work Momma) can read this together in Heaven.

Oh Geoffrey,

You went to the doctor’s on August 13th. I was beyond relieved as I had been watching how hard it was for you to catch your breath, especially as you were lighting up another cigarette.

You have smoked for close to 50 years. I have always hoped that you would stop. I know in our early years together I nagged you / tried to guilt you into quitting with zero success.   

Then I joined you in smoking (look away, dear readers) for about two years in the 1990s. I was fortunate enough to have stopped, cold turkey. One day I decided I was done.

Over the years, I realized that only we have the power to change ourselves, for better or worse. I angered a few friends, especially Dr. Bora, because I didn’t insist that you stop smoking. It was suggested that I take your cigarettes and throw them away. Mom never nagged, but I knew she was ever hopeful.

I was shocked when you came home on the 13th and announced that you were starting Chantix. I was even more shocked when you dramatically decreased the amount of cigarettes you smoked over the next week - I’d guess by about 50%. To me, this in itself was a small miracle.

The bigger shock was when you followed up with a visit to a hypnotist, just a week later. Yeah, you had been idly talking about this for about a year, but as Miss Sammie would say, “I never thought I’d see the day...”

The day arrived. August 20th. You totally stopped smoking. This is what I’d consider a huge miracle.

I can already see a dramatic improvement in your breathing, energy and stamina. I don’t remember ever being so proud of you. Although I knew you could, I never believed you would.

I love being wrong every day since August 20th - one day shy of a month. Thank you for the best anniversary gift you could have possibly given me.

Love, YM

Picture
I know Aunt Baby would have also been proud of her Pop, as Andy is.

I won't have to play this song for Geoff any more. Perhaps you can share it with someone in your life who needs to give up nicotine. 
Until next week, wishing you love and peace and safety for all who have / are in the path of Hurricane Florence.

Hugs, mar 
44 Comments
Kris
9/19/2018 07:28:31 am

Happy Anniversary!!! What a gift, what a guy!❤️💜🎊

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 02:24:50 pm

Thanks. Love you, dear Kris <3

Reply
Verlie
9/19/2018 07:55:18 am

I'm happy for you guys, what a sweet story, what a sweet family portrait, congratulations! Thanks so much for sharing, warms my heart. <3

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 02:25:43 pm

Aw, thanks, dear Verlie.

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Peg link
9/19/2018 08:16:04 am

That has to be one of the most wonderful gifts in the world. Congratulations to Geoff and to you for your support and encouragement in this major step towards living a long and healthy life. I was blessed in the same way when Jim took Chantix and stopped smoking the same week. We are both grateful for the health benefits of not smoking and for the reduced expense that used to go up in smoke. Love you both. Hugs.
Happy, happy anniversary.

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 02:27:15 pm

Dear Peg,

Such happy news about Jim as well... now something else we both have in common.

Love you and hugs, Maria

Reply
Mary Maslayak
9/19/2018 08:42:18 am

How wonderful for the both of you! I wish you many more long years together.

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 02:27:48 pm

Thanks, Mary!

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kimmie6078@yhaoo.com
9/19/2018 09:02:33 am

Dearest Maria and Geoff,
What a wonderful gift for you both! So happy and proud of you Geoff. Roy is tackling the same thing and he knows the struggle very well! Congratulations and cheers to a long and healthy life together!
Love and hugs
Kimmie

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 02:29:02 pm

Hi dear Kimmie,

I believe in Roy and I know he has the best nurse in town to cheer him on.

Love you and thanks for the visit, Maria

Reply
Vicki link
9/19/2018 09:33:38 am

Dear Maria and Geoff,

What a beautiful gift for your anniversary! Can’t get more personal or caring than to do that. Such congratulations to Geoff. It must be so tough to quit after such a long time, but that gal of yours is so worth it.
Thanks to both of you for sharing this lovely story from your lives. May you have many more beautiful years together.

Big hugs and love from Canada!
Vicki

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 02:30:10 pm

Thanks from both of us, dear Vickster. I knew you'd be as thrilled as I am with Geoff.

Love and hugs, mareer

Reply
Shannon
9/19/2018 09:34:02 am

How beautiful your family portrait is! What a gift, too. I gave up long ago nagging my husband to stop. But I make him put it out around me. Congratulations to the both of you and here's to many more happy years!

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Maria link
9/19/2018 02:31:37 pm

Thanks, dear Shannon...!

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Martie link
9/19/2018 09:39:21 am

Dearest Mar and Geoff

Congratulations with your 31st anniversary. Staying married for longer than 10 years is nowadays a miracle. Quitting nicotine is most certainly a miracle that happens quickly to some and slowly and painful to others. I take my hat off to you, Geoff, and pray that you will be able to resist the temptation for the rest of your life.

Sending tons of love,
Martie


Reply
Maria link
9/21/2018 03:49:40 pm

Thanks for this supportive and affirming remark, dear Martie.

From your mouth to God's ears...! Love you lots, mar

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Martie
9/22/2018 11:19:26 pm

❤️❤️❤️

Mike
9/19/2018 09:48:13 am

Congratulations to Geoff and Happy Anniversary to you both. I kept raw almonds on hand to munch on, to fight cravings.

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Maria link
9/19/2018 02:32:34 pm

And congrats to you, dear Mike - gotta love the nuts :)

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Randi Benlulu
9/19/2018 10:06:32 am

Happy Anniversary! What an amazing gift! Congratulations to Geoff! I know that wasn't easy but you will continue to feel better. 💛

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Maria link
9/19/2018 02:33:25 pm

Thanks, dear Randi ... !

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Nellieanna link
9/19/2018 10:17:52 am

This is wonderful, Maria. Wish everyone could read it. Lives could be saved or prolonged.

When I was young, smoking was so 'everywhere', so 'cool'. All the movies highlighted the star-heroes lighting up before, during or following all situations, as though it was a 'given' part of all the important and/or trivial experiences of life so much that they’d be incomplete without the essential smoke. It was a huge Tobacco Industry deliberate influence, without a doubt. Generations of people were strongly mind-controlled.

I was 12, my best friend was 14. We decided to show-off during a visit to our old hometown with my parents when she was visiting me. So Dorothy and I went to Walgreens on Main St., bought a pack of Camels, a lighter & fluid, ordered cherry cokes, seated in the snack area booth, and awkwardly tried lighting up. It made me SO sick and I hated it SO much, that was the ONLY smoking experience for me in these 86 years! Thank goodness. (I even dislike cherry cokes - or any cokes!) Even during my present bout with injury from falling, the medics marveled at my vital signs and overall good health, better than many much younger people. At least part of it may be avoiding smoking, though I’ve been around second-hand smoke more than I’d have preferred. It's still a pervasive influence, sadly.

Sadly, Dorothy did continue smoking. She suffered Altzheimers and died several years ago. Even though she had stopped smoking along the way, smoking background is always a major question on one’s medical history record, noting whether or not one has EVER smoked. Better to have smoked and stopped, but infinitely better not to start.

My beloved daughter smoked for years. She did not like to be admonished about it. She’s 61 now. Not sure if she still smokes, but hope she quit permanently. It would be a great Mother’s Day gift, if so. Last time she visited me here in Dallas, (from Indiana) she didn’t have to go outside to smoke. Good sign!

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 02:35:46 pm

Dear Nellieanna,

You continue to be an inspiration and a role model to me. I'm so glad those cigarettes were "once and done" with you.

I believe your daughter has / is on the way to quitting as well - due, in large part, to your fine example.

Love you and am so happy you are healing by the day, Maria

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Racheal
9/19/2018 10:53:27 am

Happy anniversary to you both!

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Maria link
9/19/2018 06:59:42 pm

Thanks, Racheal- good to see you

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Rolly A. Chabot link
9/19/2018 11:04:57 am

Hi Mar...
Now this is a writing to be celebrated in so many ways. Great job Geoffrey. You have given such an amazing gift to your dear wife. Like you I smoked for many years and one morning I decided that was it. I was fortunate to not experience all the effects to much. I had reached the 3 packs a day level and it was one of the best things I could have done.
Happy Anniversary to you both, praying you have a fun filled day planned of course filled with love and many blessings...

Hugs from Cnada

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 07:56:56 pm

Congratulations are in order for you as well, dear Rolly.

Always good to hear from you and thanks for stopping by.

Hugs to you too, mar

Reply
Love from Jordan Pasik ❤️
9/19/2018 11:42:52 am

This post makes me happy in so many ways. Even though you may not have agreed to the smoking for years, you don’t scold and judge him but rather convey how PROUD of him you are now. You are one of a kind Maria, sending my love!!

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 07:58:04 pm

Love you too, Jordan and thank you for the smiles!

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Shauna
9/19/2018 12:12:16 pm

Happy Anniversary, Mar and Geoff!

What a wonderful gift you both received, my friend. I've been smoking for 46 years now. I really don't have a desire to quit. However, I don't smoke in my house, so that definitely keeps me from chain smoking.

Since the hypnosis seems to be working for Geoff, do you think he can get off the Chantix?

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 08:00:21 pm

Hi Sha,

The plan is for Geoff to get off the Chantix in several weeks. He's working with the MD on this.

So good that you don't smoke in the house.

Love and hugs, mar

Reply
Claire
9/19/2018 12:28:23 pm

Happy Anniversary!
I hope you both start adding up all those $ saved from not buying cigarettes and go somewhere to celebrate.

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 08:02:36 pm

Already thinking along those lines, Claire - great to see you!

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paula
9/19/2018 01:03:22 pm

Wow! This is what I call, "Win-Win!!" A 31st. Anniversary (CONGRATULATIONS!!) and a special life-saving gift from your dear hubby! Wonderful times! Yippee!
Sending you love & hugs & much happiness, today & always........Paula/Effer

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 08:07:45 pm

Thanks, dear Paula,

Your love and sweet wishes are most appreciated. Love ya, Maria

Reply
Rich Rumple link
9/19/2018 01:06:55 pm

Happy Anniversary! Hope you two have many more to come. You do know how to hit hard, don't you? lol I've smoked for over forty years. Tried Chantix but found it made me nauseated. Now, while writing, I still smoke, but find more burning down in the ashtray than in my mouth. So, I'll die from second hand smoke. :) There needs to be a desire to stop. Trouble is, I like smoking and don't have that desire. Maybe (cough) one day (cough) I'll give it up. Again, (cough) Happy Anniversary, Sis!

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 08:19:51 pm

Geoff was nauseous for a little while when he started Chantix as well, dear Bro.

I hope I'm the second to know when you decide ... and I believe that one day you will.

Love ya always and big hugs, Sis


Reply
Cynthia link
9/21/2018 01:07:00 pm

Now, Rich, I didn't know you smoked. But you also cracked me up with the way you predict your demise. lol. Oh, I bet you could write a horror story from that! I wish you a wonderful weekend, friend!

Reply
Angelia S. Phillips link
9/19/2018 05:31:49 pm

Prof. Mahreer,

Happy anniversary and awesome news for the both of you! Way proud of Chef Geoff. Been there done that. It's a big goal, but so worth the effort!

Reply
Maria link
9/19/2018 08:01:41 pm

Thanks, dear Ange. And thanks for your help in getting Weebly righted.

Take it easy and have a peaceful evening. Love, mar

Reply
Gail Sobotkin
9/20/2018 04:52:06 pm

What a wonderful 31st Anniversary gift! So happy for you both.
Love & Blessings, Gail

Reply
Maria link
9/21/2018 05:39:38 am

Thanks, dear Gail - always good to see you.

Love to you and Fred,
Maria

Reply
Cynthia link
9/21/2018 01:05:35 pm

Coming here today and reading this. Oh WOW!! I am blown away! Just look at the gift the Geoff gave to HIMSELF and to YOU!! Already his lungs are healing. I read that within three years of quitting smoking, the risk of heart attack goes down to about the same risk as for everyone else, but is much more elevated when people are smokers.
I am so glad for this. Yes, the decision has to come from within. No amount of prodding from well-meaning friends and family does any good. I found this out when a family friend lost everything due to his alcoholism. He still couldn't/wouldn't change no matter what interventions we tried. No matter that he was losing his wife and daughter. No matter that he would lose his house. And it didn't matter that he'd lost every job he'd ever had due to his drinking. It was hard to see and watch. And he may never learn. But if he ever decides on his own to change, it will be a change for good.
That said, reading this is like reading a miracle. My own father quit smoking cold turkey after chain-smoking for years. Once people make the decision, and they REALLY make the decision, it's an incredible sight to see.
I'm so happy for you, Mar. I'm so happy that this coincides with your anniversary. And I'm so happy to know you.
I know that part of his decision had to do with the incredible person that YOU are. To be able to spend 31 years together is such a gift and I know that deep down, Geoff knew he'd want to be around for at least another 31.
Sending you big hugs and wishes for a wonderful anniversary and happy International Day of Peace.
Be well, my friend. Sending you love and light.

Reply
Maria link
9/21/2018 04:02:12 pm

What a meaningful and rich comment, dear Cynthia. Thanks for sharing and adding so much to this post.

Speaking of "smokin' Rich", I think you'll greatly enjoy next week's post as well.

Have a PEACEful day. Love and thanks, Maria

Reply



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    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

    I am a work in progress, so a rule of thumb is to expect the unexpected every week!

    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

    Thank you,

    mar  



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  • Home
  • BOOK SHOP
    • Kylie's Stories
    • Other books by Maria Jordan >
      • Mysterious & Miraculous Book I - News and Reviews
  • BLOGS
    • mar's Desk
    • Inspiration Station
    • Poetic Ponderings
    • marcoujor on Hubpages
  • I Recommend...
  • Contact Me