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The Long and Winding Road

1/6/2015

26 Comments

 
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Recently a very dear friend sent me the following sentiment in an e-mail:

"I've had enough experiences in my life to believe that many things happen through the intervention of a divine and greater power than we can imagine.

I no longer believe in coincidences. I believe in pre-ordained occurrences, giving us opportunities for deep reflection. If you think about it, that in itself is a mysterious gift in life, that we can always receive if we're willing to get off the present day treadmill."

How this very message summed up my past weekend at the Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA where I attended a Contemporary Gestalt Training Workshop that was led by Mariah Fenton Gladis, MSS, QCSW.  

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I met Mariah in June, 2013.  Someone I love very much invited me to a similar workshop, only this was my first exposure to Gestalt Therapy.   Oh yes, I had studied the concepts from a text book in school.  But trust me, participating in Gestalt Therapy ... being on the Hot Seat, if you will... is an entirely different animal.  There is nothing in the world that rejuvenated and exhausted me quite like this... I searched deep into my mind - my body - and my spirit and yes, I even got off my daily treadmill...

I view Gestalt Therapy as a valuable life tool and plan to share pieces of what I have and will continue to learn with you.  These life gifts do not require a fancy degree to accomplish.  You need to be aware of how you are feeling and you need to be willing to take action to move forward when necessary - regarding what is important to you.

I accomplished a life-changing achievement in the workshop of June, 2013.  I had an exact moment of healing in the safe and loving environment of Mariah and a group of compassionate people -- just like me.  I was able to release the extreme anger I felt towards a man who had hurt me badly and killed someone I loved -  to a man in group (who was willing to play that role).  And anger I had by the buckets...  I was also able to release the extreme guilt, sorrow and sadness I felt towards a beloved colleague who was senselessly killed - to a woman in group (someone I selected who reminded me of the beautiful friend I forever miss).  And tears I had by the buckets... And the group was so supportive, loving, hugging me in a net of safety...and best of all I selected the music I wanted to be played...the same music that went through my head when I was being rescued by PennStar and flown to safety:  Lifted by The Eurythmics.


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The moment I left the retreat, I knew I wanted to return.  I never forgot Mariah, especially her eyes...they surely looked into my soul and urged me to do the same.  It is very difficult to BS this woman.  Her intuition is matched only by her clinical skills.

I seemed to be called to this January workshop.  The timing couldn't have been better - between teaching semesters.  This Workshop was actually the first of a six-month certification training series.  To attend meant no obligation to join the entire training program, as the weekend in itself is of rejuvenating personal and professional benefit.

I was thrilled that I knew two of the thirty group members from June, 2013. How could I know that one was the very kind woman who had stood in during my Hot Seat for my friend who had died.  It was wonderful to spend the weekend with her.

I arrived about thirty minutes early on Friday evening, due to the darkness and the curvy roads.  The entire weekend was rainy, foggy but rather mild.  Mom had always told me that rain was a sign of good luck.  I inwardly laugh as I brace myself for a road trip.  I really enjoy driving, especially enjoy traveling with me and my trusty navigator.  But I am pretty much guaranteed that rain (or some kind of precipitation) will play a role in my trip...and that is Mom.  At this stage of the game, she is telling Miss Lead Foot to take it easy, allow plenty of time and obey the speed limit ... which I really strive to do for her sake.


There were two other early birds.  Some were staying at the Retreat house and some were commuting.  I chose to commute as it was not very far and space was limited.

I met a lovely woman with the same name as a dear friend of mine.  In fact, I had invited this friend and she was unable to attend due to personal reasons. Now I have two friends with the same name!

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The other woman was the spittin' image of my Momma - in fact, it brought instant tears to my eyes.  I told her so immediately.  When she told me her name, I almost fainted.  My sister shares the same name as my friend who was killed.  By the end of the weekend, my second 'Momma' shares this name as well.  I also have another sister as this was a 'mother / daughter' team...  I derived so much comfort and love from these two women who so freely gave of themselves to me.  And we don't live far away from each other - which is a very cool thing!

I did small group work with a younger woman who was hurting badly after having been abandoned by her dad.  I had such maternal feelings toward her.  It was a thrill when she was called to the Hot Seat and asked for me to play the role of her Momma.  She was able to express anger directly to a man who played her dad and I could keep her safe... a feeling I surely needed to do on my own behalf.  The beauty of Gestalt Therapy is the totality ... there are no boundaries.  The therapist can and needs to benefit in order for the client and family / system to do the same.  This woman was late on Sunday.  She had driven to her Mom's house and they talked all night.  The freedom and peace on her beautiful face was therapeutic in and of itself.  Oh and I have a surrogate daughter now as well...awesome..!!  She has four dogs and they are all rescue...you know it!

As I recall the song I associated with myself on Friday night, I listened to the lyrics and cried my eyes out.  What else is new, right...??  

The Long and Winding Road was always a romantic type of song in my mind.  I feel now that Mom is reminding me of my own strength and abilities - to keep going no matter how long, winding , uncertain this life journey can be.

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As I think back to our last exercise on Sunday, also associated with music...as Mariah closely identifies with music (...lucky me...!!!), we were holding hands and swaying back and forth - I honestly don't remember the song as I was lost in the moment.

Suddenly, a young girl that I had felt was so sad, joyfully sprung out and took the hands of the woman who had played the role of my friend who died.  The young girl shared the same name as my niece, how lovely they both are.  

These two women joyfully danced in the center and my friend sweetly broke away and was able to fly on her own... and this was the goal she had wanted for the weekend.  What an inspiration for us all...we all need to fly - to feel free to be ourselves and to truly pursue what is important to us. My friend's chosen song is a song by R.Kelly that I happen to love: I Believe I Can Fly...

Don't Miss...

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  • Tuesday's Pumpkin Run Pulse featuring, Bunnicula: A Rabbit-Tale of Mystery.
26 Comments
Shauna L Bowling link
1/7/2015 01:38:26 am

Mar, what a cleansing experience! After hearing about your weekend, I have to agree with your friend that there are no coincidences, rather divine intervention.

I look forward to the movie documenting the healing powers of Gestalt Therapy.

I can feel your calm.

Reply
Maria link
1/7/2015 12:28:02 pm

Dear Sha,

Thank you for such wonderful feedback...I will keep you all informed on the status of Mariah's documentary. Love and hugs, Maria

Reply
Vicki
1/7/2015 01:38:28 am

Dear Maria,
I'm so glad you got so much out of your Gestalt therapy training session. It sounds wonderful.
I'm sure this will be very memorable, just as the 2013 one was. This is a really beautiful post, and your feelings of excitement, appreciation and peaceful satisfaction come through loud and clear!
Love and hugs

Reply
Maria link
1/7/2015 12:29:36 pm

Thanks you, dear Vicki.

Your observations are astute and your support is most appreciated.

Have a peaceful evening. Love and hugs, Maria

Reply
Ruby link
1/7/2015 03:19:12 am

Mar, I could actually feel your excitement through your words. I know it must have been a wonderful release. Pent up feelings are difficult to erase from within, but you did it! I really do believe when we follow our heart's, impossible dreams can become a reality, you've proven that, and your happiness shines through this upbeat article. I'm looking forward to learning more about Gestalt Therapy. You have chosen one more of my favorite songs, ' I believe I can fly. ' Hugs Dear one.

Reply
Maria link
1/7/2015 12:32:28 pm

"I really do believe when we follow our heart's, impossible dreams can become a reality..."

I love this Ruby, and the person who said it even more...thanks for your visit - not at all surprised "I Believe I Can Fly" is one of your favorites.

Love and hugs to you, mar

Reply
Paula link
1/7/2015 04:02:17 am

Maria....With each word I read, I was aching to be be one of that group. My curiosity and interest in this "therapy" has been peeked beyond tolerable.
How wonderful that you have been able to be such an intricate part of it all. I'm anxious with anticipation. The Documentary should prove to be miraculously life-altering.
Cannot wait to learn more ....and MORE!
PLEASE keep us posted..........Much Love, Paula

Reply
Maria link
1/7/2015 12:35:39 pm

Oh Paula,

I could imagine you here with me...laughing, crying and working on issues...NY is not that far,,,let's 'never say never' and I guarantee neither of us would ever be the same.

Love you with my heart and soul, Maria

Reply
Gail Sobotkin
1/14/2015 02:22:13 am

Dear Maria,
My response was almost identical to Paula's!
Oh how I wish my schedule had allowed me to go with you to this amazing Gestalt workshop, but I'm thrilled beyond measure to hear what a special experience it was---as meaningful as the first one you took, and that you met an old friend and made new ones.
I am still reading Mariah's book and her commitment, love and dedication to this work is palpable and inspiring, plus I can see why Gestalt therapy, especially in the context of a loving supportive group with a gifted leader, has been so healing for you.
Yes, perhaps one day you, me, and Paula, too, can attend a Mariah workshop together.
Love You, Admire You, and am so Grateful for Your Friendship,
Gail

Maria link
1/14/2015 12:45:19 pm

Dear Gail,

It's wonderful to see you here -- I really believe that you were in my heart during my weekend and I also feel that we'll go to a workshop together in the months to come...

If Paula is "listening", the parking lot was filled with NY, NJ, MD, DE tags mixed in with PA... I believe in miracles!

Gail Sobotkin
1/15/2015 12:41:17 am

Ah miracles---yes, I believe in them with all my heart!
And I do believe our hearts were connected even more than usual during the weekend of the workshop. I kept dreaming about you, but each time I woke I couldn't remember the specifics of the dreams--just that you were in them and everything was okay.
Am toasting the possibility of a future, real life attendance with you and Paula.
Love, Hugs & Blessings

Maria link
1/16/2015 12:54:59 pm

Dear Gail,

How special that you dreamed of me...and you were right, everything was/ is OK. We will both keep believing in miracles...and see what this year brings ..:))

Have a peaceful weekend, dear friend. Love and hugs, Maria

femmeflashpoint link
1/7/2015 04:42:49 am

Prof. Mar,

This was such a moving re-count of the retreat. It reminded me of a course I took, forever ago, that lots of morticians are pressed to attend. It was part of a curriculum implemented with the Dale Carnegie public speaking program, and I was never sure why it was such an integral part of the program but it was a fascinating aspect of it.

I can imagine this would be similar but far deeper reaching and more amplified, and I can see how it would benefit both a therapist as well as those in need of a bit of therapy.

I felt like I was there, for this retreat, experiencing at least a significant part of it through your eyes, which made it's impact more significant.

It took courage to write this from such an intimate perspective. I admire that you're often so willing to lower your barriers enough for your readers to participate in your experiences in truly personal way, even when they're painful ones.

Thank you for that, and for caring enough to share both hurt and hope.

femme



Reply
Maria link
1/7/2015 12:41:34 pm

Dear femme,

Thank you for such a thoughtful and reflective comment.

I really love this line especially and it humbles me: "Thank you for...caring enough to share both hurt and hope."

I don't think one can hope unless they have gone through their share of hurt...at least the way I see it.

Have a peaceful night. Love you and hugs, mar

Reply
Martie link
1/7/2015 05:04:56 am

Dear Mar, Gestalt Therapy is something I used to practice in my bedroom in front of my mirror. Though the one I would be looking at in the mirror would be the big punk in dire need of a piece of my mind. So, I can just imagine how therapeutic professional Gestalt Therapy will be for me.

So true, as we proceed on our path of life, we get so many 'signs' that assure us that we are on the right track. When those signs are missing, we somehow realize that we are heading in the wrong direction.

Love you lots,

Martie

Reply
Maria link
1/7/2015 12:49:09 pm

Dear Martie,

You are indeed a natural and intuitive with this...it is quite beautiful whether you realize it or not...

One of the hardest exercises (for me) was to actually look at myself in a small mirror, for awhile...talk to myself and discover what I truly wanted.....not what everyone in my life wanted for me and for me to do for them...But we had to be kind to ourselves...even if we saw a "punk" (LOL) - and that also takes practice...

Thank you for your insights and traveling this journey with me.

Love you lots, mar

Reply
Gail Sobotkin
1/14/2015 02:27:08 am

Dear Martie,
Your comment reminded me of the Gestalt role playing I sometimes do when working with my dreams, only in that case the "punk" in dire need of correction would represent a part of myself! LOL
Thanks for sharing your experience. Other than when working with dreams, I never thought of doing Gestalt role playing by myself to work through strong feelings about another person. I'll have to try it sometime.
Love,
Gail

Reply
Maria link
1/14/2015 12:51:17 pm

Dear Gail,

You raise such a valuable point that these exercises can be done by and with ourselves as well...just as beneficial and ever so empowering.

Love you and hugs,
Maria

Linda Rogers link
1/7/2015 05:27:57 am

What a powerful story you've shared with us Maria. As you may remember, I have my Master's degree in Counseling Psychology, so I learned Gestalt, along with all the other types of therapy. You have beautifully illustrated what Gestalt is all about, and how healing it can be. I thank you for sharing your personal journey with us. It's a gift that can inspire others to try different ways of healing past pains. God Bless Maria :)

Reply
Maria link
1/7/2015 12:52:04 pm

Yes, Linda, I do remember your clinical background and as such, your comment means the world to me. Thanks ever so much for stopping by with such affirming remarks.

Wishing you a peaceful evening. Hugs, Maria

Reply
Mike
1/7/2015 02:21:16 pm

Hello mar, you carry so much into these weekend retreats and you come away feeling free of remnants of the past. You tell us of others that carry such pain and that they are able to release or dissipate portions of that pain. We all suffer and for those that have suffered greatly it is a good feeling to know that there are methods available to lighten their load. I am glad you find these healing.

Now in the mode of always leave them laughing, I have to say how many times I had to type retreat, as each time I typed in it came out retweet. And as our friend Peg might say – groan. :)

Reply
Maria link
1/9/2015 07:21:59 am

Dear Mike,

Thanks for adding a bit of levity...retweeting is oftentimes a good thing, just as retreating - in my humble estimation (LOL) - oh, and lighting candles works for me as well...

Hope you have a peaceful weekend and hugs to you, Maria

Reply
Mary link
1/8/2015 03:21:23 am

How wonderful. We never know what to expect in life but the good things can be such welcome surprises!
I am so glad your weekend was so wonderful. I refrain from using the word productive because the sorrows and joys made it wonderful!

Reply
Maria link
1/9/2015 07:24:50 am

Dear Mary,

Thanks for your warm and loving support...I am blessed by your friendship and your insightful remarks.

Have a relaxing weekend. Love and hugs, Maria

Reply
Peg link
1/8/2015 08:00:11 am

What magnificent discoveries you've had with this weekend retreat. Along with the healing juices that you drank in this effort, you've made some strong, kind and wonderful acquaintances. You've shared these experiences with us in a way that we'll all gain pleasure and learn from you. Maria, you are a constant inspiration and it is no wonder people love you so much. Reading this was truly uplifting and provides a personal glimpse of what keeps you going strong. Love you. Sending Hugs.

Reply
Maria link
1/9/2015 07:27:11 am

Dear Peg,

You say the sweetest things and I hope you know how much I love and appreciate your presence in my world.

Thanks for stopping by and sending hugs to you and those you cherish.

Have a lovely weekend. Love you, Maria

Reply



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    Marcoujor

    Welcome to my desk...

    I am a work in progress, so a rule of thumb is to expect the unexpected every week!

    Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself at home.

    Thank you,

    mar  



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  • BOOK SHOP
    • Kylie's Stories
    • Other books by Maria Jordan >
      • Mysterious & Miraculous Book I - News and Reviews
  • BLOGS
    • mar's Desk
    • Inspiration Station
    • Poetic Ponderings
    • marcoujor on Hubpages
  • I Recommend...
  • Contact Me